ECW (5/6) Recap: A Tag Challenge!
Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, brings us the centennial edition of ECW on Sci-Fi
I’ve got my party hat on and a soda and some hot popcorn. Let me throw out a trivia question to start things off. Who fought in the very first ECW on Sci-Fi match? Check the end of the recap for the answer.
We started with a look back at the stars that have joined us each week for the last 100 years. We saw clips of Paul Heyman, Sabu, Big Show and others. Even Vinny Mac was on the screen.
Tazz welcomed us to the show. Mike Adamle was introduced. Tazz talked about walking off last week’s show in support of his partner. Mike got in the ring to a huge round of cat-calls and “We Want Joey” chants. Mike grabbed the mic and started talking about his exit, last week. Mike apologized for losing his cool. He apologized to Tazz for leaving him in the lurch. He also apologized to the fans. Mike talked about his career in football, American Gladiators, and other places. Mike sounded really cocky as he talked about announcing longer than most of the fans had been alive. The crowd was brutal. Mike didn’t realize how hard the job was. Mike tried to suck up to the fans, but they weren’t buying it. Mike talked about the wrestlers giving him grief about his mistakes. Mike told the fans to despise him, if they will, but enjoy the 100th episode of ECW. You could see the anger on his face as he left the ring.
Tommy Dreamer came to the ring with the shopping cart full of toys. The crowd erupted with joy. Stevie Richards joined Tazz and Mike at the announce table. Mike Knox stomped to the ring. Mike Adamle told us that Stevie Richards fought in the very first ECW match, ever. It was before ECW even had a television deal.
Mike Knox d Tommy Dreamer.
Extreme Rules Match
Knox pounded away on Tommy and dropped him with a Shoulder Block. Tommy blasted Mike and Clotheslined him over the ropes. Tommy went to the floor and used his shirt to choke Mike. Tommy went to get the cast, but Mike took Tommy out with a Clothesline. Mike grabbed a cookie sheet and wallopped him.
The two got back in the ring and Mike caught Tommy with a Stall Suplex. Mike laid Tommy across the ropes and hit the Leg Lariat on the ropes. Mike went to the floor and grabbed some hockey sticks. Tommy kicked a trash can into the face of Mike. Tommy beat on Mike with a hockey stick, a kendo stick and an OAR!. Tommy broke the oar over Mike’s head. Tommy emptied the shopping cart and threw it in the ring.
Tommy tried to suplex Mike onto the cart, but Mike reversed it. Mike climbed the ropes, but Tommy locked him in the Sullivan Tree of Woe and bashed him with the Singapore Cane. Tommy placed the can against Mike Knox. Tommy then placed the shopping cart next to the can. Tommy hit the Hesitation Dropkick, which sent the can and cart into Mike. Tommy sent and got a table. Tommy tried for a Bulldog, but Mike converted it into a Back SUplex through the table.
Mike went to the floor and got a chair. Mike missed with the chair shot to Tommy’s head. Tommy blasted the back of Mike with the chair. Mike recovered and caught Tommy with the Knox U Out onto the steel chair. Mike upset the Hardcore Icon.
Grade: A-
We saw the flashback appearance of the Zombie and the Sandman. Sandman whipped Zombie like a government mule in that match. We went to break.
Kelly’s Expose made an appearance. Kelly did a serious bump and grind in black leather. She had that Catwoman thing going. The crowd was both thrilled and bored at the same time. Layla joined the cance session. Kelly and Layla jockeyed for position in the ring. Layla was in jeans and a red and silver top. This was the longest Expose, ever. Kelly slapped Layla and it broke down into one heck of a catfight. Makes me miss Joey’s voice, even more. Ok, I’ll do my best Joey Styles for this one…CatFiiight!
We saw a flashback to RVD v Hardcore Holly. It wa the match where Holly had his back sliced open by landing on a table. That Suplex off the apron is a part of the “Please don’t try this at home” video on all WWE DVDs. Tazz reminded us that Holly got 17 stitches in his back because of that landing.
We saw Roddy Piper crashing Matt Striker’s birthday party. We also got to see the Boogeyman show up and put the worms in Striker’s mouth. I miss the Boogeyman.
We saw last week’s match between Chuck Palumbo and C.M. Punk. Palumbo was DQd because of failing to heed the ref’s demands. Lena talked with Chuck. He told Punk that he would knock Punk out if he got in his face again.
We went back to the arena for Shelton Benjamin’s arrival. Shelton was dressed in street clothes. Shelton joined the announce team. Kofi Kingston then danced his way to the ring. The crowd loved the Jamaican Sensation. Mike asked Shelton if he could beat Kofi. Shelton said it was like asking Mike if he could stay at the announce table for a whole show. Ouch.
Matt Striker stormed to the ring. Striker got introduced to Mr. Socko, last week.
Kofi Kingston d Matt Striker
Matt popped Kofi in the face and then hit a Belly to Back Suplex. Kofi hit a huge Dropkick and then cut loose with the Jamaican War Cry. Kofi dropped the Double Legs over the chest. Matt threw Kofi into the ropes. Kofi bounced back and hit Trouble in Paradise. Mike called it a Flying Scissors Kick, but it’s actually a Buzzsaw Enziguri.
Grade: C
After the match, Shelton attacked and hit the Gold Rush (Slider Face Plant) on Kofi. We went to the back where C.M. Punk led the talent in clapping for Colin Delaney. Colin was scheduled to battle Armando Estrada, next.
We saw the battle betwen the Originals and the New Breed. Sadly, most of the eight men in the match have left the company.
Colin Delaney got a nice pop as he walked to the ring. The Ricky Ricardo-sounding music sounded. Armando was in incredible shape as he came to the ring. He was referred to as the former Cuban Heavyweight Champion.
Colin Delaney d Armando Estrada
Contract Match.
Colin tried for a quick roll-up. Armando hit a Clothesline and then slapped Colin. Armando moved Colin into the corner and punched the kid. He then Bieled Colin all the way across the ring. Armando locked in a Keylock Armbar. Colin fought to his feet and blasted the ribs of Armando. Armando sent Colin to the mat by the hair.
Armando missed a splash in the corner. Colin opened up with fitst to the face. Colin hit an Irish Whip, but Armando held onto the ropes. Colin hit a Dropkick. Armando tossed Colin to the floor.Colin slipped back in the ring. Collin caught Armando with a roll-up and won his contract!
Grade: B
Tazz called for Colin to come over to him. Colin ran around the ring and slapped hands with the crowd. Colin thanked Tommy Dreamer for being his mentor. Colin thanked the doubters, because they made him come out, each and every week. Colin looked like he was going to cry with happiness as he realized that he was now an ECW Superstar. Way to go, Colin.
We went to the Smackdown Rebound. It was part three of the “What the Heck?” events of last week. First, WIlliam Regal pulled the plug on Raw. Second, Mike Adamle (and Tazz) took a walk. The third part was Vickie Guerrero stripping Undertaker of the World Title. Vickie sent Khali to take the title from Undertaker. ‘Taker locked in the Gogoplata Choke Hold on Khali. Vickie’s forces ran to the ring and grabbed the title. Undertaker looked ready for revenge.
Miz and Morrison joined Mike and Tazz at ringside. They gave Mike grief about mispronouncing Miz’s name in the past. Miz gave Tazz a “Chick Magnet” T-Shirt.
Bam Neeley and Chavo Guerrero made their way to the ring. THe crowd exploded as C.M. Punk made his entrance. Punk had his Money in the Bank briefcase. Punk was joined by the ECW champion, Kane. The entire arena was bathed in crimson light.
Bam Neely & Chavo Guerrero v C.M. Punk and Kane
Kane beat on Bam as the newcomer tried to take out Kane’s knee. Knae hit an Uppercut, a Clothesline and a big Bodyslam. Punk tagged in and hit a Springboard Senton. Punk worked over the arm and shoulder of Bam. Punk hit a pair of Flying Fore-arms to Bam’s face. Bam took Punk down with a Shoulder Block. Bam dragged Punk to his corner, tagged in Chavo and Bodyslammed Punk. Chavo came over the ropes for a Springboard version of the Frog Splash, but landed on the knees of Punk. Punk tried to cradle Chavo for the win, but Chavo kicked out. Punk hit a Snap Suplex. Chavo kneed Punk in the ribs and then nailed a European Uppercut. Chavo moved Punk to the corner and popped him in the head. Chavo tried to distract the ref so Bam could get some shots in. Punk turned and knocked Bam off the apron. Chavo charged at Punk and ended up flipped up and over the ropes. Bam caught Chavo before he landed. We went to break.
Punk worked on Bam’s arm with an Arm Wringer. Punk also broke out several martial arts kicks to the chest and arm of Bam. Miz and Morrison grumbled about not being talked about. Miz, Morrison and Tazz started giving Mike a hard time. I actually felt sorry for Mike. Bam reversed an Irish Whip and sent Punk into the corner. Bam blasted the back of Punk and then tagged Chavo into the match.
Chavo took down Punk with a European Uppercut. Morrison was really baiting Adamle during this match. Chavo punched the skull of Punk and then moved him to the corner. Chavo took Punk to the mat and hit the Guerrero Senton onto Punk’s back. The move was a Senton Back Splash, but Chavo tucked his arms and legs in to provide more torque to the move. Chavo locked in a Rear Choke on Punk. Chavo changed the move to bar Punk’s arm and twist the neck, at the same time. Punk got to his feet and began to throw knees to get free. Chavo used the hair to send Punk to the canvas. Chavo brought Punk to the corner, and tagged Bam back into the match.
Bam stomped on Punk and yelled at him. Miz started to get in Tazz’s face, but the ECW Original stood his ground. Punk battles to his feet, but a knee to the ribs slowed Punk down. Bam hit a Belly to Back Suplex on Punk. Chavo tagged back into the match. Chavo hopped over the ropes and planted a boot in the center of Punk’s chest. Chavo stomped on Punk. Chavo hit a Belly to Belly Suplex. Chavo shot the Half-Nelson to cradle Punk into a pinning position. Punk kicked out at two. Chavo worked on Punk’s neck. Chavo turned and punched Kane. That brought the Big Red Machine into the ring. Scott Armstrong headed Kane off at the pass.
Chavo and Bam double teamed Punk in the corner. Bam officially tagged into the bout. Bam dropped Punk with a huge fist to the face. Bam Irish Whipped Punk to the corner, but Punk jumped over the ropes and landed on the apron. Bam charged, but Punk hit a sharp Fore-arm shot to Bam’s face. Punk hit a Springboard Clothesline to drop Bam to the mat. Kane and Chavo tagged into the match. Chavo hit a Flying Crossbody on Kane, but the ECW Champ just turned and rushed Chavo into the corner. Kane cut loose with fists on Chavo and then hit a Big Boot. Kane sent Chavo flying with a Back Body Drop. Chavo scampered to the corner, only to be hit by Kane’s Running Clothesline. Kane hit the Sidewalk Slam. Kane showed the sign for the Chokeslam. Before he attacked Chavo, Kane turned and blasted Bam. Bam fell to the floor.
Chavo rushed at Kane. Kane lifted him up and dropped him over the ropes. Chavo got caught in the ropes on the way down and landed hard on the apron. Kane climbed the ropes and hit his Kane Flying Clothesline. Kane seemed to jam his knee on the landing. Kane tagged out. Punk flew off the ropes, but missed the move he wanted. Punk recovered and nailed a Leg Lariat. Punk hit several Kneelifts, but Chavo moved into a Go Behind. Punk reversed the Go Behind and shoved Punk into the corner. Punk then hit the Elevator Knee to the face of Chavo. Chavo pushed out of the Bulldog attempt. Punk turned and hit the Step-Up Enziguri. Bam made the save. Kane came in the ring and hit the Big Boot. Chavo clipped the knee of Kane. The distraction allowed Punk to catch Chavo in the Fireman’s Carry. Punk put the icing on the cake with the G-T-S. Say goodnight, Gracie. Punk laced the leg and got the pin.
Grade: A
Miz and Morrison lifted their tag teams belts to issue a challenge to Kane and Punk. We faded to black as Punk held his briefcase up. There just may be a tag title match in our near future.
Trivia Answer: The Sandman used a White Russian Leg Sweep to defeat The Zombie. The match lasted less than three minutes.
Final Grade: C
Final Thoughts: ECW 100 should have pulled out all the stops. It didn’t. There weren’t any surprise guests, like former ECW stars. The highlight match of the night was the Colin Delaney match. Even that one was a case of Who really cares?. I would imagine the ratings are going to seriously disappoint the WWE brass.
While I hope to be able to celebrate the 200th episode of ECW, I don’t think that it’s going to happen. Part of me was actually hoping that Vince was going to stroll out and tell the world that he was pulling the plug on ECW, tonight. In my fantasy version of tonight’s show, Punk would turn on Kane. He would then cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase. Punk would attack the knee and upset Kane for the ECW title. Vince would then have come out to congratulate the new champion. He would then inform Punk that he would have the honor of being the last ECW champion. Vince would look in the camera and say “Paul (Heyman), I just killed your child, for a second time.” The screen would then go black. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not on the writing team.
–Jay Shannon
JayofPWD@SBCGlobal.net
(5/7/08)
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