HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
Fixing the WWE–A Battle Plan
Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, looks at some of the problems in the WWE. He then offers some suggestions on how to fix them.
The WWE is falling apart. It’s ratings and buy rates are in a slump. There are numerous reasons why the WWE is at a level on par with the 1995 WWF. In this edition of HeadLocker, I want to take a look at a few of the issues and what I think can be done to bring the WWE back to where it could and should be.
Announce Team Chaos
In the past few months, WWE has lost two of its better announcers, JBL and Joey Styles. They were replaced with severely sub-standard announcers, Jonathan Coachman and Mike Adamle. Coachman was a great lackey to Eric Bischoff, Vince McMahon and William Regal. He was even a decent acting GM, but he just can’t carry a full 2-hour program. Mike Adamle should have been a great addition to the team, but he’s pathetic. He can’t even get Jeff Hardy’s name right. Despite Jim Ross’ predictions, the ratings for ECW will start to fall with Adamle on the stick. Adamle can toss out his cutesy little phrases (”Uno, dos, adios”) all day long, but he’s no Joey Styles or even a Marc Lowrance clone. He needs to call NBC and see if they need an interviewer for American Gladiators. At least he knows something about that.
Solution:
It’s time to scrap the current ECW and Smackdown announce teams. Since Smackdown and ECW are taped on the same night and share the same roster of stars, Tazz should be re-united with Michael Cole as the announce team for both shows. Raw should be left alone. That team works quite well. I’d like to see Tazz and Lawler as the announce team for ECW, but that would cause more harm than good.
Smaller-than-life characters
The WWE has always been known for over-the-top characters. From the unbeatable Bruno Sammartino to the Deity-esque Hulk Hogan, the WWE has thrown living and breathing cartoon characters at the general public for over 40 years.
The current crop of wrestlers lack that unreal feel. Kane could easily be unloading trucks down at the local supermarket. John Cena could be walking the beat as a cop in Anytown, USA. Matt Striker could (and once did) teach our kids at the local public high school. The fantasy personas have been replaced by the every man. Triple H is a father of 1 and 1/2 kids who puts on his uniform just like a fireman dons his helmet and jacket. You could expect to run into Trip at the local 7-11, picking up diapers and a Slurpee. There is no Wall of Mystery that divides them from us, anymore.
Solution:
This problem’s a great deal tougher to fix. With the internet and cable/satellite, most of the new crop of wrestlers are highly-profiled well before the WWE gets their make-over squad to work re-creating them. Within less than two hours of my talking about the new Mystery Man (Bam Neely) showing up on ECW, I had several e-mails giving me the full run-down on Justin ‘The Ox’ LaRouche.
The WWE needs to bring back the intro vignettes that were so popular in the 80s and 90s. They also need to create a few more theatrical characters. The last good Carnival Creation was The Boogeyman, who hasn’t been seen in months. Florida has some good oddball creations, like Sinn Bowdie, just waiting to get a break. Let’s eradicate the Boys-Next-Door gimmick and bring back the Creatures from Parts Unknown schtick.
Diluted championships
The WWE just has too many titles. There are three major singles titles (four, if you include the Women’s title), 2 secondary titles, and 2 tag championships. The WWE has already eliminated the Hardcore, European and Cruiserweight straps. That’s a good start, but there is more to do. The over-abundance of titles weakens all the titles. Chavo Guerrero, who was a great Cruiserweight title holder, sauntered over to ECW and ended C.M. Punk’s reign. Kane, who hadn’t held gold in years, walked into Wrestlemania and took the ECW strap off Chavo in 8 seconds. Chavo and Kane would never have won the Big One back when ECW was a solo act or when WCW was running at full tilt. With so many titles, some undeserving people are wearing gold.
Solution:
It’s time to unify some titles. The first thing I would do is set up a tag team battle between Holly/Rhodes and Miz/Morrison. The winners of that match could claim tag team supremacy. The champs could travel between all three brands, defending their gold.
The next step would be to unify the US and I-C titles. I would actually eliminate the US title and keep the Intercontinental title as the dominant, secondary title. Like the tag titles, the I-C title could be defended on all three shows.
My final suggestion would be a Winner Takes All battle that would pit the ECW, WWE, and World champions against each other. The WWE tried this once before with the Champion of Champions match, but they didn’t follow through. The winner of the match didn’t actually win anything. All three champs kept their respective belts.
I could see the main event at Wrestlemania XXV pit the three champions against each other. Assuming that Undertaker is still carrying the World title, I’d give him the nod as the first tri-unified champion. Since Wrestlemania XXV is in Undertaker’s home town of Houston, that would be the perfect place for that to happen. It could also serve as Undertaker’s retirement match.
After ‘Taker hangs up the black hat for good, a huge tri-brand tournament could take place. Every star would have a shot at the gold. This could really create some excitement as the crowds could cheer for their favorites. It could also give Joey Styles something to do at the official WWE web site. He could have the fans do a poll each week to see who they would like to see fight. WWE could even incorporate the whole text message thing, as well. The concept of letting the fans help in the decision process is always good for business.
Retirement isn’t just for Ric Flair
There are just too many old-timers hanging on in the WWE, these days. The biggest old-timer hanging around is Vince McMahon. Vince is in his 60s and over-due for some well-deserved time in the sun. He sure doesn’t belong doing the Mr. McMahon owner/wrestler character at his age. His on-stage persona has become more buffoon than cartoon. Seeing him strutting around, acting like a sex-crazed teen-ager, is as laughable as Mae Young’s lustful jaunts. The difference is that we are supposed to laugh at Mae.
Solution:
It is time for Vince to hand control of the WWE over to one or more of the younger McMahons. Since Steph is settling in to the role of mommy, her hubby, Triple H, could work with brother-in-law, Shane, to re-energize the WWE. They might be able to reach a younger crowd. Vince has reached an age where he just has a difficult time locking minds with kids 1/3 his age (or younger).
Just as Vince had his Inner Circle of confidants, Shane/Triple H would have a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw upon. Undertaker, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Hardcore Holly and a few others could form a tight knit crew that should be able to boost the new WWE to higher levers than either Vince (Vince J or Vince K) could dream possible.
Start a new Ratings War
The Monday Night Wars really spiced up both WWE and WCW between 1995 and 2001. The two groups pushed each other, week after week, to out-do the other. Pay-per-view level matches were regularly broadcast on the weekly cable broadcasts. The fans were excited to flip back and forth between the two shows (Raw and Nitro) to see just who could out-promote the other. The battle see-sawed back and forth for the 5 1/2 years.
When WCW became a part of WWE, the whole industry crashed. Without decent competition, the writers for WWE got lazy. They would ramp up for the big money Pay-per-views to push the revenue up, but the weekly shows turned into glorified informercials for the next PPV. The fans were cheated out of the kind of action and drama that they had gotten used to seeing. WWE needs to find some decent heads up competition.
Solution:
It’s time for Vince to battle TNA. I’m not suggesting that Vince should try to destroy TNA. He made that mistake with WCW and it almost destroyed WWE, as well. Vince and the Jarretts should really sit down and hatch a plan to work together, while working against each other.
The first move should be shifting Smackdown to Thursdays. The excitement of having both shows on the same night could spark the rivalry. I’d further that by taking both TNA and Smackdown to a strictly Live format. When Nitro and Raw were both live, the fans never knew just what to expect from the dueling programs. Putting taped programs head-to-head wouldn’t be all that exciting. With various web sites running spoilers, several days in advance, the surprise factor just disappears.
I’d also suggest that Vince and the Jarretts get some “corporate raiding” storylines going. Vince’s group could hijack talent like Jay Lethal, Petey Williams and Abyss. TNA could counter with abductions of John Cena, Edge and Carlito. The talent trades could go back and forth and thrill audiences with the concept of Who’s gets taken next?
PPV = Pure Pocketbook Vandalism
Pay-Per-Views are the life-blood of any wrestling organization. A stadium can hold thousands of fans. A Pay-per-view can grab millions of watchers. WWE was an innovator in the world of PPV. The early days of cable featured the Big Four (Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, SummerSlam and Survivor Series). Over time, the Pay-per-views grew to a once-a-month (or more) extravaganza.
The WWE double dips the fans by charging outrageous sums of money for PPVs monthly and then, 6 weeks later or so, releasing the PPV on DVD. The DVD collections usually have a ton of extras that the PPV viewer didn’t get. A perfect example is Wrestlemania XXIV. The Pay-Per-View cost $55 plus all the various taxes and fees. That brought the cost to between $75 to $95 in most areas. The DVD release is already available for pre-order in many areas. A check of online retailer, Amazon.com, shows the collection for $29.99, with Free Super-Saver Shipping. The DVD also includes the entire Hall of Fame ceremony, as well as numerous extras. By waiting 6-8 weeks, fans will get more than the PPV fans did, for 1/3 the price. This price gouging by the WWE has had a negative effect on the buy rates over the past year or so.
Solution:
The only possible fixes to this problem would never happen. The WWE should reduce the number of PPVs back down to the original 4 shows. That would give the WWE time to really promote the shows and build great angles. The crippling effect to the WWE could be catastrophic. WWE would have to jack up the price of the PPV to a point where no regular fan could afford the cost. Corporate WWE isn’t about to eradicate 2/3rds of their yearly PPV income.
An alternate way to fix the problem would be to delay the DVD releases three to six months. This idea is also unlikely to happen. The marketing teams for WWE play on the short-attention span that they seem to think the general public has. The marketers would likely feel that the fan base wouldn’t care about matches and stories that were six months past. They are probably right. This is the only problem that doesn’t seem to have a solid fix available.
In Conclusion:
When thinking this column through, I, like many people, first came up with the concept of get rid of the writers or Fire Adamle. With a nod to my wife (a retired nurse), she would say that “was like putting a band-aid on the end of a severed limb”. Minor fixes just aren’t going to get WWE back to where it has been in the past. A major over-haul is the only thing that can elevate the sagging WWE.
The WWE does have some good things going for it. Jim Ross is the best stick man in the industry. He may well be the best announcer of all time.
While the talent pool is at low tide, right now, the core crew is solid. It is likely that the suspensions will stop soon. WWE may still lose Jeff Hardy and one or two others, but the fear of losing the meal ticket seems to be getting people back on their game. WWE also has a great group of kids working in FCW that are just weeks away from breaking through to the big time. FCW has a solid mix of next generationers (DiBiase, Neidhart, etc…) and new stars. The future does look bright.
Let’s hope the WWE climbs out of this hole, soon.
–Jay Shannon
JayofPWD@SBCGlobal.net
(4/22/08)
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