The Katz Files – Arnie Katz
WrestleMania 24 Recap & Analysis!
The Kingfish Arnie Katz brings you all the excitement, color and heat from the wrestling event of the year!
Gary Karpella presided over the Free for All. The hype focused primarily on the Triple Threat and the Boxer vs. Wrestler matches.
As the Blue Angels flew overhead, Lilian Garcia welcomed fans to the Citrus Bowl and WrestleMania 24! She introduced John Legend, who did an excellent rendition of America the Beautiful.
A video showcased a montage of comments from WWE Superstars about the importance of WrestleMania and their desire to shine on the grandest stage of pro wrestling.
Another video recapped the major events of the previous 12 months. There wasn’t a lot of verbal content, but the scenes conveyed the gist of some of the year’s biggest moments.
Finlay vs. Jon Bradshaw Leyfield
Belfast Brawl
No-DQ, No Rules Match
The Story: When the Fiendish Financier revealed that Hornswoggle is really Finlay’s son and not Mr. McMahon’s, it set in motion the hostilities that have led these two men to this “o rules” confrontation.
My Prediction: I’d expect some good, hard wrestling from the combatants, both of whom can work a match very well, but this is likely to be a heavily booked match with a gimmicky finish. Just when it looks like the Big Cowboy is about to win, Hornswoggle will pop out from under the ring and give Finlay the good old shillelagh. Finlay will club him to the mat and score the pin in a way that preserves JBL’s reputation.
Predicted Winner: Finlay
Predicted Grade: B-
The Match: John Bradshaw Leyfield came to the ring in his white limo and then a video showed the horrific events from the Mr. McMahon-Hornswoggle cage match. Finlay came to the ring, accompanied by his recently acknowledged son.
JBL launched his attack before Finlay even had a chance to climb into the ring. The Contemptuous Cowboy had things his own way until Finlay whipped him into the ring steps! Finlay rummaged under the rung for weapons, but Leyfield hit him with a trash can as he re-entered the ring! Finlay got back to his feet, but he took several trash can lids to the head in the process.
After JBL Clotheslined the Irishman, he brought the ring steps inside. He tried to give Finlay a Piledriver, but the intended victim converted it into a Back Body Drop. Leyfield then dealt three trash can lid shots!
JBL took over when he caught Finlay coming out of the corner with a big boot! JBL punched and kicked Finlay in the corner and then picked up a Shillelagh Hornswoggle distracted JBL and Finlay walloped his antagonist with the Shillelagh!
Finlay put a trash can on Leyfield’s face and stomped it! Finlay fetched a table from under the ring.
While Finlay went for the ring steps, JBL began beating up Hornswoggle in the ringside area. Finlay went berserk and followed the Cowboy Financier to the outside and tried to bash out his brains against the announce table.
Finlay tried an out-of-ring Suicide Dive and it very nearly was! JBL used a trash can lid like a baseball bat to swat the human missile out of the air!
Back in the ring, JBL pitched a trash can at Hornswoggle and leveled the little guy in the ringside area! Finlay looked a little wobbly, but he began laying in the trash can shots and they quickly took their toll on the former World Champion. JBL escaped the attempted pin.
JBL slashed Finlay across the knee with a kendo stick and then connected with the Clothesline from Hell to pave the way for the one-two-three.
Actual Grade: B+ (guess the story is not finished)
Kim Carpathian explained the Money in the Bank match until Mr. Kennedy joined her. He vowed that he would be a repeat winner. She jumped about a foot when the wrestler did his human echo, but she actually handled her brief segment pretty well.
John Morrison vs. C.M. Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Chris Jericho
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
The Story: The Money in the Bank Ladder Match has become as much of a WM staple as the washed up celebrities. The winner gets thrust into the title picture.
My Prediction: This one was tailor-made for Jeff Hardy until other circumstances intervened. They may add someone like Matt Hardy as an eighth entrant. In the absence of Hardy, Chris Jericho looks like the winner. It’ll come down to him and MVP.
Predicted Winner: Chris Jericho
Predicted Grade: B+
The Match: When someone brought in a ladder, MVP took it and used it as a battering ram to clear the ring. MVP and Chris Jericho jousted with ladders. Chris’ was larger and did more damage.
John Morrison scaled the ladder and uncorked a Moonsault that took out four competitors! When Y2J failed to force a Walls of Jericho, he tried to catapult MVP into a turnbuckle. This nearly backfired, because the US Champion landed on the land. He climbed so quickly that only quick reaction by Jericho stopped him from claiming the suitcase.
Morrison and MVP went at it at the top of the ladder, which gave Shelton Benjamin the chance to go right an adjacent ladder and slug it out with them! CM Punk went to the top and got into it with Morrison and MVP. The three of them became enmeshed in a move the announcers could only call “The Tower of Doom.” It was something like a Superplex to a Powerbomb to a Sunset Flip!
CM Punk tried for the prize, but Mr. Kennedy brought hi back to earth – and MVP smashed him into a ring post! Punk hit the GTS and climbed, but Mr. Kennedy stopped the ascent with a Somersault Slam onto a ladder!
MVP tried to clear the ring to give him isolation with the ladder. He almost made it, too, until he missed a running kick and got hung up on a turnbuckle. Carlito gave him a devastating ladder shot.
CM Punk pulled down Carlito, but Carlito blasted him with an Enzuiguiri! Punk fell over the top rope all the way to the arena floor.
Total chaos took over the ring! Guys were climb and ladders were toppling too fast for the announcers to call!
Morrison tried to climb a ladder, but he had placed it a little off the mark. Chris Jericho went up to battle him. Jericho imprisoned Morrison in a Leg Grapevine.
Jericho and Kennedy went to the top of separate ladders. They flailed away at each other and clawed for the suitcase. CM Punk jumped from a turnbuckle to the ladder and hit everyone he could reach!
CM Punk and John Morrison hit the canvas about the same time, but Morrison went right back up! He got t the top just in time to frustrate Chris Jericho attempt to snatch the suitcase. Chris knocked down the arrogant self-proclaimed star. Carlito hit a Backstabber off the ladder!
Just as MVP was about to seize the coveted case, out of nowhere came Matt Hardy. He applied the Twist of Fate and departed (since he wasn’t officially part of the match).
Jericho climbed the ladder with Morrison is hot pursuit. John spit in his face, which so confused Y2J that the former ECW Champion easily threw him down to the mat! Carlito knocked down Morrison and then did the same to Mr. Kennedy.
CM Punk received a Codebreaker to a ladder, which put him on the sidelines, at least temporarily. Everybody was down but Chris Jericho, but he couldn’t quite get a handle on the swaying case. CM Punk recovered and went to the top of the same ladder!
It was Chris Jericho and CM Punk at the top of the ladder! They kicked and punched at each other until Jericho swung the suitcase so it smashed punk in the face!
Just when all seemed lost, CM Punk shoved Chris Jericho back so that he was hanging upside down with his knees over a step about halfway down the ladder.
CM Punk got the suitcase and the prize it contains.
Grade: A (Nice use of Matt Hardy)
A very well-edited video showed most of the highlights from the 2008 Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
Howard Finkel introduced the living Hall of Famers, relatives of the deceased ones and Ric Flair’s four children.
“So far so good; I’m having the time of my life!” snoop Dogg told Tod Grisham. Snoop said he’d found someone who shared his taste and attitude and brought out Festus.
Santino Marella joined the group and began trying to lord it over Snoop Dogg. Snoop produced a ring bell, rang it and let the energized Festus change Marella away.
Snoop Dogg then introduced his buddy Mick Foley. “Have a nice dizzle,” said Mick.
Lilian Garcia introduced William Regal and Teddy Long, representing RAW and Smackdown respectively. They each, in turn, brought out the man they chose to represent their promotion in the Brand Supremacy match.
Batista vs. Umaga
Brand Supremacy Challenge
The Story: The RAW and Smackdown general managers cooked yup this battle of the brands. Each named a representatives for the match.
My Prediction: Since RAW is WWE’s “lead show,” you might think they’d want Umaga to win and validate that claim. On the other hand, Batista is on a roll and is probably on his way to another title run. The pre-match signs run toward Umaga, who got destroyed by John Cena while Batista rolled over all opposition. That sounds like it’s building toward one of those “nobody really wins or losers” finishes, but I will go out on a limb and predict that Umaga will beat Batista through unfair means. Then Batista will go to RAW for a rematch. The Animal would then win the rematch and head to a pay per view as a challenger for the WWE Championship.
Predicted Winner: Umaga
Predicted Grade: B+
The Match: They went at each other full tilt right from the opening bell. They rocked each other with ring-rattling punches until Batista knocked Umaga clear out of the ring!
Umaga stunned Batista with a couple of ferocious overhand chops! He couldn’t execute the Back Body Drop, but the Samoan Bulldozer leveled Batista with a Leg Lariat! He then kicked Batista in the jaw to send him all the way tot he arena floor!
Umaga scored with a Splash and then fired Batista into a turnbuckle – and then into another one! Batista connected with a couple of punches, but Umaga’s thumb to the throat left the Animal fighting for breath in a heap in the ringside area!
Back in the ring, Batista twisted out of a painful nerve hold only to find himself on the wrong end of a Bodyslam! Umaga missed a Flying Headbutt, but Batista’s back wouldn’t bear the load when the former champion tried to host the mighty Samoan onto his shoulders! Umaga reapplied the nerve hold. He uncorked a Samoan Drop, but Batista forced his shoulder off the canvas in time.
After jawing with the referee, Umaga got back to business, but his corner charge misfired in a big way. Batista took advantage with a Spinebuster and then used the BatistaBomb to finish off RAW’s representative.
Actual Grade: B+
Joey Styles and Tazz presided over the showing of a video of the 24-Man Battle Royal. It didn’t show much and it didn’t take long.
The 24-Man Battle Royal
ECW Title Shot Later on This Card
The Story: Someone has to fight Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. WWE has decided it mighty as well be one of these guys. So it is that two-dozen wrestlers, including some of WWE’s least talented, least over performers, will vie for the right to work twice on the same card.
My Prediction: This would be a much easier match to predict if WWE had posted a definitive list of the competitors. The winner should be a face so that there will be at least a little heat when he fights Chavo Guerrero. Colin Delaney will help Tommy Dreamer win the match.
Predicted Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Predicted Grade: C+
The Match: Jane won.
Actual Grade: There are some things that Man was not meant to know.
Kane d. Chavo Guerrero
ECW Championship
The Story: Someone will get a shot at the ECW title. The trick will be to make the fans care about it.
My Prediction: If Dreamer or Kane win the Battle Royal, Chavo Guerrero retains his title. If Colin Delaney somehow wins the Battle Royal, WWE would create a new “name” by having him beat Chavo and fight a rematch on the next pay per view.
Predicted Winner: Chavo Guerrero (unless Delaney wins the Battle Royal)
Predicted Grade: C+
The Match: If you blinked, you missed it. Kane came to the ring, Chokeslammed Chavo Guerrero and became the new ECW Champion.
Actual Grade: Whatever happened to those one-hour NWA draws>
Raven Symone, representing the Make A Wish Foundation, thanked WWE for granting the wishes of 50 deserving youngsters.
Ric Flair said his game plan was “to be the Man.” Well, it has worked for about 36 years.
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Career Threatening Match
The Story: Mr. McMahon, bent on getting rid of Ric Flair, decreed that the first time The Nature Boy loses a match, he must retire. With more than a little help from his friends, Flair has surmounted every challenge. Now he must get in the ring against the Heartbreak Kid.
My Prediction: The only real question, in my mind, is whether Flair wins the match and then retires or loses the match and then retires. Traditionally, wrestlers lose their final high profile match, but this might be a special case. Flair is going into the Hall of Fame and Michaels can absorb this kind of loss if needed. If I booked this, Flair would defeat Michaels after a long, brilliant match and then announce his retirement on RAW the next night. It would be the signature “feel good” moment at this WrestleMania. Since I’m not the booker, I figure Ric Flair will go out on his shield like a champion after a great match. He and Shawn Michaels will embrace at center-ring. They’ll have a retirement part on RAW
Predicted Winner: Shawn Michaels
Predicted Grade: A
The Match: Shawn Michaels extended his hand, but Ric Flair only gave him a “Wooooo!” before the two went into an extended sequence of chain wrestling. Michaels worked a Hammerlock, but when he hit the ropes, Flair caught him on the rebound and Bealed him across the ring!
Flair staggered Michaels with a pair of chops. “Old Yeller, huh? Old Yeller!” Michaels’ response was a chop that knocked Flair backward and caused him to taste blood.
HBK and the Nature Boy then embarked on a chopfest, the likes of which has not been seen in WWE in a long, long time. They repeatedly snapped each other’s heads back with every knife-edged blow!
Ric Flair shot Michaels into the turnbuckle and knocked him down on the rebound. Then he delivered a running Kneedrop to HBK’s forehead, something that hasn’t been seen in a while, either.
HBK connected with a Back Elbow, but when he went to the top, Flair turned it into a Bodyslam! Flair went to the top and, for one of the only times in his career, actually hit a Cross Body Fly to a two-count cover.
Ric Flair scored with an Atomic Drop and went for the Figure Four Leglock. HBK booted him off! The Nature Boy went to the outside, where HBK nailed him with a Baseball Slide. Michaels then pressed his luck with an attempted Moonsault to the outside, but he landed hard on the ECW announce table!
Michaels required an eight-count get to back into the ring. And when he got there, Ric went right into stomping mode! Flair sent Michaels into a pair of turnbuckles and then dealt a Back Suplex! It only added up to a two count, though. He tried with a Double Underhook Suplex, but the result still came one slap of the mat short.
Flair then used chops to set up a Standing Vertical Suplex. The ring shook, but it was still not enough for a pin.
Flair threw JBK into the ropes, but The Showstoppa scored with a Russian Legsweep. When Flair ran at him again, HBK Bealed him over the top rope to the Citrus Bowl floor. Michaels launched himself into the air with an out-of-ring Moonsault and this time scored a bull’s eye!
The referee counted “Nine!” before they got back in the ring. The match had started to take a visible toll on both combatants.
They got into another Chopfest, but HBK broke the stalemate with a running Forearm off the ropes. HBK went into overdrive. He hit an Atomic Drop, a Clotheslines and another Atomic Drop! He added a Bodyslam, but it didn’t lead to a pin.
Michaels hit a Flying Elbow Drop form the top and started tuning up the band! He glided across the ring…
And stopped! He couldn’t bring himself to dispatch his ring hero. Flair showed no hesitancy in clamping on the Figure Four. HBK maneuvered to the ropes to force a break.
Flair sent Michaels careening into the turnbuckle and Chopblocked him to the canvas! Flair went for the Figure Four, but Michaels wrapped him up in a Small Package. The pin attempt failed.
Ric Flair took advantage of a missed Enzuiguiri and again applied the Figure Four! HBK rolled over to reverse it – and Flair reversed it right back! This time, Shawn grabbed the rope.
Flair did a little strutting, which gave Michaels a breather. When Flair approached him, Michaels blasted him in the face with a Superkick! A seemingly exhausted Michaels threw his arm over Flair, but the Nature Boy wasn’t going to give in to such a nonchalant cover.
Shawn Michaels started to do Sweet Chin Music until he saw that Ric wasn’t getting to his feet. “Stand up! Stand Up!” Michaels barked.
When Michaels went over to lift Flair to his feet, the Nature Boy gave him a low-blow Mule Kick! Michaels narrowly avoided the pin.
HBK applied his Inverted Figure Four Leglock, but Flair scooted along the mat until he made the safety of the ropes. Flair thumbed Michaels in the eye, rolled him up and almost stole the match!
Both men could only rise to their knees, but it didn’t keep them from chopping away at each other like lumberjacks! They stood on unsteady legs, still banging away at each other with everything they had!
Shawn Michaels mouthed the words, “I’m sorry. I love you!” and did the right ting. He zoomed across the ring and obliterated Flair with Sweet Chin Music. He scored the pin to end a fabulous match and a glorious ring career.
Actual Grade: A
Shawn Michaels left the ring quietly. The crowd cheered Ric Flair and chanted, “You the Man! You the Man!” The Nature Boy went to the outer barricade and kissed his four children who sat at ringside.
As he reached the curtain, perhaps for the final time as a wrestler, Ric Flair saluted the crowd with a “Woooo!”
Edge told Tod Grisham that we had already seen history made this night – and that more history would be made during the balance of WrestleMania.
He harked back to his youth, when he’d seen Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 6. He claimed that Hulk lost, he lost his innocence. “Tonight they get slapped in the face with a cold, hard dose of reality,” Edge prophesied. He explained that the reason is that fans won’t be able to depend on an Undertaker victory.
Snoop Dogg came to the ring in a dune buggy to preside over the Bunny-mania tag team LumberJills match. The women walked down the ramp behind him.
Maria & Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix & Melina
Bunnymania LumberJill Match
The Story: Fate has conspired to make a bad idea even worse. Candice Michelle bowed out due to an injury, so former Diva Search winner Ashley will take her place in what promises to be a “cool down” match. (When the crowd gets to fever pitch, they need a match to bring them down a little so they will react to the next important match.
My Prediction: Having the babyface girls win gives a faint “feel good” nanosecond and also sets up challenges to Beth Phoenix.
Predicted Winner: Maria & Ashley.
Predicted Grade: C+ (If Maria does well, she and Beth Phoenix could push the grade a little higher.
The Match: Ashley went for a Huracanrana against Beth Phoenix almost from the opening bell. She executed the hold, but the Glamazon easily threw her off before the three count could be completed. Ashley and Maria double-teamed on Beth Phoenix and took her to the mat with a stereo Mare.
Melina replaced the Women’s World Champion in the ring, but it was definitely a case of new book, same story. Ashley hit a Huracanrana, the babyfaces cooperated in dishing out the black-and-blue marks and Melina. Ashley thought she had Melina trapped in the corner, but the Latina Spitfire pulled her off the middle rope with a Powerbomb!
Phoenix and Melina began to get their offense into the match against Ashley. Their double teaming nearly led to a pin!
That’s when the lights in the Citrus Bowl.
By the time they got some illumination, Maria whipped Beth Phoenix to the mat with a Hair Beal. Maria’s Cross Body Fly onto the Glamazon looked good, but Beth broke up the cover with little difficulty. The champ tortured Maria with a Double Chicken Wing, but the resourceful Playboy covergirl smashed Phoenix to the mat!
Maria had Melina ready to go in the middle of the ring, but Santino Marella broke up the pin! Jerry Lawler couldn’t take it any more and left his announce position. He walked up behind Santino, tapped him on the shoulder and knocked him flat with one haymaker punch!
Beth Phoenix connected with a Double Sledge to Maria’s spine and then a Suplex. She covered Maria to seal the deal.
Actual Grade: C+ (The LumberJills were a waste, but the match wasn’t awful)
Santino Marella preened and postured in the ring until Snoop Dogg clocked him with a Clothesline. The famous rapper and media hog then kissed Maria.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
WWE Championship
Triple Threat
The Story: Randy Orton has the gold. John Cena and Triple H want the gold. Each man is more than willing to pound the other two into sludge, a feeling intensified by the last three episodes of RAW, on which each man had a chance to book the other two into grueling matches.
My Prediction: John Cena will be on hiatus to make a movie immediately after WrestleMania, which gives the McMahons all the excuse they need to put the belt back on Triple H.
Predicted Winner: Triple H
Predicted Grade: A
The Match: A military-style band played America the Beautiful and then John Cena’s entrance theme. The main lights were still out and the pyro seemed very wispy.
When it looked like Triple H and John Cena were putting their heads together at the beginning of the contest, Randy Orton bowled them over Cena bounced up and responded with a Suplex! Cena pounded away at Orton until Triple H pulled him off and threw him out of the ring so that he he could get in some punches, too!
Randy Orton had recovered slightly while the babyfaces battled each other. He surprised HH and threw him to the ringside area. Orton pursued and banged Triple H’s noggin against an announce table! The Game eventually got the better of the out-of-ring exchange, brought Orton back into the ring and subjected the WWE Champ to a Sleeper Hold! Cena tried t lift both men at the same time. He got Orton onto his shoulders, but Triple H kicked gun down.
Orton punished The Game with a Backbreaker and then practiced the Orton Stomp on both challengers! He landed a Kneedrop on Cena and tried, unsuccessfully, for the pin. He tried the same thing with The Game, with the same result.
Vena took Orton onto his shoulders and kicked away Triple H. Orton used leverage to put Cena’s shoulders to the mat, but he kicked out. Triple H Clotheslined Cena – and Orton Clotheslined Triple H!
John Cena blocked Orton’s attempted RKO and sent him into Triple H. Cena banged the ropes and brought Orton to the mat with a Bulldog! When Cena came off the top with a Thesz Press, Orton headed for the high country with Cena right behind him! Orton suddenly turned the tables and rammed Cena’s head into a ring post!
The lights came back on in the ringside area.
With Cena temporarily out of commission, The Game worked on Orton’s leg, When Cena returned to the action, Randy Orton immediately decked him with a Clothesline! Orton connected with an RKO on Triple H, who temporarily left the ring.
Cena used a Single-Leg Trip to set up his STFU! Orton shrieked in pain, but he wasn’t ready to submit. Triple H interfered with an attack on Cena, eventually bashing his skull against the ring steps!
Triple H applied a Leg Grapevine and spun it into an Indian Deathlock! He might have made Orton surrender if Cena hadn’t kicked him in the head!
John Cena went back to his STFU on Orton and ground away with every ounce of strength he possessed! Triple H stomped Cena to break it up. Cena ignored what The Game was doing to him; he just didn’t want to turn loose of that hold! Finally, Triple H pried him off Orton with brute strength!
The Game put a Crossface on Cena as Orton escaped the STFU! Cena got to the ropes. Triple H refused to let go until the referee forced him to do so.
Triple H won the battle of fists against Cena, but the resourceful New Englander came back strong with a Forearm Smash and a Clothesline. Cena gave him the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, The Game escaped, but Cena blocked a Pedigree!
Triple H jolted Cena with a Spinebuster and kicked Orton’s legs out from under him! Cena picked up The Game in the FU position, but Triple H somehow managed to land a kick to the midsection – and then a Pedigree!
That would’ve been it, except that Randy Orton booted Triple H off the cover and then pinned Cena to retain the title!
Actual Grade: A- (Quite a surprise)
After an extensive video, it was time for the boxer versus wrestler confrontation.
The Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather
Boxer versus Wrestler
The Story: Big Show (“The World’s Largest athlete) and Floyd Mayweather “The Best Pound-for-Pound Boxer n the World”) are on a collision course that will put them both in a WrestleMania ring. In some unguessable way, this contest will allegedly determine whether boxing or wrestling is the superior martial art.
My Predictions: This is WM’s “freak show” match, so I guess it’s an improvement over things like a Battle Royal of failed characters. Not much better, though. We don’t know the rules of the match, so it’s a little hard to predict the winner. That we don’t even know if it is a work or some kind of ill-advised shoot doesn’t help matters, either. Big Show would win a shoot and Mayweather may have a victory in his contract if it’s a work. The one safe prediction is that it’ll be pretty lackluster.
Predicted Winner: Floyd Mayweather
Predicted Grade: D
The Match: Lilian Garcia introduced the combatants and explained the rules.
Floyd Mayweather came to the ring wearing MMA gloves, while Big Show appeared in his usual ring attire.
Floyd Mayweather spent the early portion of the match dodging and darting. He landed a couple of body shots in the corner, but Big Show didn’t seem to mind.
Big Show tried a Running Punch, but he knocked out one of Mayweather’s handlers. He then Armdragged another member of the Mayweather entourage.
Mayweather moved closer to do some punching, which enabled Big Show to catch him. Mayweather escaped, but not before the wrestler got in some damage.
When Big Show put his foe on top of the turnbuckle, Mayweather capitalized with some punches. The boxer jumped on the larger man’s back and brought him to his knees with a Choke!
Big Show broke the grip, threw Mayweather to the mat and stomped him! He bulled Floyd into the corner, kissed his own hand and then kissed Mayweather’s face with it! Mayweather’s people kept shouting, “You can’t do that!” but, of course, he could and he did. The sight of Big Show standing on his fallen opponent made the Mayweather camp howl.
Mayweather tried a couple of kicks. Big Show retaliated with a ring-rocking Side Slam and then added a Legdrop! He stood on Mayweather’s chest, dragged him back to center ring and landed an Elbow Drop to the back of the neck!
Before Big Show could deliver the coup de grace, Mayweather’s minions picked up the battered fighter and tried to walk him up the ramp to safety.
Big Show shoved aside a couple of bodyguards and dragged Mayweather back to the squared circle. A Mayweather minion tried to interfere and Big Show dispatched him with one mighty punch! As Big Show prepared to Chokeslam Mayweather, another Mayweather guy bashed him with a chair. He dropped the boxer and Chokeslammed the henchman!
Floyd Mayweather picked up the chair and began to batter Big Show with it! He really laid in the chairshots. Big Show shrugged off the first few, but Mayweather low-blowed him and went back to swinging the chair! This time, they really had a visible effect on the wrestling colossus.
Floyd Mayweather removed one of his garish orange gloves to reveal brass knuckles. He landed one gigantic haymaker and that was all she wrote for Big Show. The Boxer had triumphed over the wrestler.
Actual Grade: C
A video for the next WrestleMania aired.
The show’s hostess, Kim Carpathian came to the ring in a green dress that looked as if it had been spray-painted on her opulent form. She informed the crowd that the show set an attendance record for the Citrus Bowl of 74,635.
A series of videos prepared fans for the final match of the night, the showdown between Edge and Undertaker.
Edge vs. Undertaker
World Heavyweight Championship
The Story: Undertaker and Edge have butted heads for some time. The Deadman wants another title run and, of course, The R-Rated Superstar stands in the way.
My Prediction: It’s hard to ignore the rumor that Undertaker will come out of WrestleMania with the title around his waist. It also makes sense to preserve his winning streak at the event. I’d let Edge win so that he would still have the belt when they do the wedding angle, but Taker has been so loyal and steadfast at WWE that my guess is that the rumors are right. Edge will fight like a tiger and his minions will mix in, but Undertaker will make Edge Rest in Peace, at least until next week’s Smackdown.
Predicted Winner: Undertaker
Predicted Grade: A-
The Match: Undertaker entered with the deluxe version of his entrance, complete with a torchlight parade. Edge, somewhat surprisingly, came out alone, although he did pause to have his fiancée wheeled to the top of the ramp for a good-luck kiss.
Michael Cole reeled off the names of the men that Undertaker defeated
Edge went right at the Deadman, backing him up with punches. The Deadman whipped him into the ropes and Clotheslined him on the rebound! Then Taker Clotheslined the champ again and sent him to the ringside area.
Edge tried to stop Undertaker from getting back into the ring, but Taker blasted his way in with an uppercut. Undertaker roughed up the Rated R Superstar in the corner and shot him into another turnbuckle. An overconfident corner charge earned Taker a stiff boot. Taker ducked a Clothesline and hit one of his own, but the cover proved premature.
After working on Edge’s wrist a little, Undertaker went Old School. Edge had the move scouted, but Taker turned it into a powerful Armdrag that sent Edge more than halfway across the ring!
Undertaker tried a Running Knee into the corner, but Edge avoided most of the impact! The champ tossed him out of the ring. When the Deadman reached the ring apron, Edge charged into him and knocked him down, again! When Taker made another attempt to re-enter the ring, Edge’s Baseball Slide sent the seven-footer careening all the way to the outer barricade! Edge went after Taker and smashed him into several handy objects.
Edge caught Taker on the apron and his Neckbreaker sent the victim back to the floor! Edge dragged Undertaker back inside the ropes. He punched Undertaker several times, but the ref broke it up when Edge switched to a Chokehold. Edge came right back with a Shoulder Charge to the belly!
The Deadman fought back bravely, but when he lifted up Edge, the champion shifted his weight and covered. Taker threw him off, but it looked like the streak was over until he moving his big shoulder.
Edge used a pair of punches to set up Undertaker for a Dropkick! Edge went to the top turnbuckle, but Undertaker knocked him off his perch before anything happened.
Undertaker saw Edge lying on the ground in the ringside area. A strange look stole over his face and then he did the nearly unthinkable – he ran across the ring and launched himself over the top rope in a devastating Suicide Dive!
The American Bada$$ pushed Edge under the bottom rope and positioned him with the head hanging over the ring apron. He delivered a running knee to the head and then added a Guillotine Legdrop across Edge’s throat!
Undertaker tried for a Last Ride, but Edge knocked him into the ringside area. The champion followed and Face Planted Taker over the outer barrier into the seats! Edge hauled Taker back inside. The cover fell one count short.
Edge used some punches to lead into a Half Boston Crab. Undertaker somehow twisted out of the hold and into a cover, The champ stopped the count in time. Edge re-asserted the Half Boston Crab. When that didn’t seem to be doing the job, Edge shifted it into his version of the Indian Deathlock. The Deadman fired Edge across the ring with a two-footed kick!
Edge roared back with punches. He stalked Undertaker around the ring keeping up the attack. Finally, it seemed like The Phenom had had enough and he began to throw fists. He staggered Edge with lefts and rights. The champion tried to stop the onslaught with a kick to the stomach, but Taker responded with a kick of his own!
They went back to punching. Edge matched him blow for blow at first, but Taker has justly earned his reputation as WWE’s most fearsome strike. He took control and then it was Edge who reeled under a barrage!
Taker rocketed Edge into the corner and hit a Running Knee and then a running Clothesline! Taker pulled off Snake Eyes, but Edge shocked him with a Dropkick that nearly led to a pinfall!
Edge tried to leap at Taker form the second rope! The Deadman seized him by the throat, but Edge broke it up with a boot to the belly! Undertaker hit the ropes, ducked a Chokeslam and set up fir a Chokeslam. Edge had a different idea and amazingly turned it into a DDT!
When Edge tried a Spear, Undertaker kicked him in the head! The Phenom delivered a Chokeslam, but he couldn’t convert it into a win. Edge successfully countered an attempted Old School and left Taker hung up on a turnbuckle. The Rated R Superstar crashed his foe to the mat with a Superplex! Once again, the shoulder came off the canvas just in time!
Undertake lifted Edge into the air, bent on an Atomic Drop. Somehow, Edge leapt over him and made him pay with a Neckbreaker! The count stopped at “two!”
After some punches, Undertaker finally succeeded in taking Edge on that Last Ride. The champion slid his shoulder out from under the cover.
When The Phenom tried for a Tombstone Piledriver, Edge countered with another Neckbreaker! Taker willed his shoulder off the canvas.
When Taker tried to go Old School a third time, Edge was too weak to stop him and felt the seven-footer crash down on his arm and shoulder! Edge avoiding a Running Boot, but referee Jimmy Cordaris wasn’t nearly as fortunate.
The champion planted Undertaker with his version of the Dragon Drop. When Edge leaned over Mr. 15-0 to talk trash, Undertaker clutched his throat! Edge’s low blow killed that idea.
While Taker tried to collect his wits, Edge stormed into the ringside area, knocked down a camera man and took his machine. Back inside the ring, Edge ended a cross-ring charge by banging the camera into Taker’s face!
Edge wanted to wake up the referee, but Cordaris was lost to the world and rolled off the edge of the ring to the floor!
Meanwhile, the Deadman sat up.
The Champion tried to Bodyslam Taker, but the challenger turned it into a Tombstone Piledriver! Charles Robinson ran down the ramp to the ring. He started the count, but Edge summoned the strength to stop it.
Hawkins and Ruder ran to the ring to help their leader. Undertaker hardly paused to deal with them. He Chokeslammed one onto the other, which ended their WrestleMania day.
When The Phenom turned back to the real matter at hand, Edge Speared him! Undertaker grabbed the Gogoplatz! The champion got within a foot of the ropes, but he couldn’t close the gap! Finally, he had no choice but to tap.
Undertaker is the new World Heavyweight Champion!
Actual Grade: A
Predicted Grade for WrestleMania 24: B+
Actual Grade for WrestleMania 24: B+
The Bottom Line
This show ended up better in the ring than it appeared to some on paper. The Battle Royal turned into a dark match, the women worked up to their potential and the Big Show-Floyd Mayweather match was not as totally horrible as expected. (It was bad, but it could’ve been so much worse).
The important messages, on the other hand, certainly lived up to the advance hype.
The poor folks who got hit by the pyro at the end of the show probably didn’t like WM 24 as much, but it was a great hunk of entertainment for the rest of us.
That’s it for today. I’ll return tomorrow with another installment of the Internet’s fastest-rising daily wrestling column.
– Arnie Katz
Crossfire4@cox.net
(4/3/08)
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