The Katz Files – Arnie Katz
WrestleMania 24 Preview & Prognostications!
The Kingfish Arnie Katz gets you ready for WWE’s most important card of the year.
Maria & Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix & Melina
Bunnymania LumberJill Match
The Story: Fate has conspired to make a bad idea even worse. Candice Michelle bowed out due to an injury, so former Diva Search winner Ashley will take her place in what promises to be a “cool down” match. (When the crowd gets to fever pitch, they need a match to bring them down a little so they will react to the next important match.
My Prediction: Having the babyface girls win gives a faint “feel good” nanosecond and also sets up challenges to Beth Phoenix.
Predicted Winner: Maria & Ashley.
Predicted Grade: C+ (If Maria does well, she and Beth Phoenix could push the grade a little higher.
Finlay vs. Jon Bradshaw Leyfield
Belfast Brawl
No-DQ, No Rules Match
The Story: When the Fiendish Financier revealed that Hornswoggle is really Finlay’s son and not Mr. McMahon’s, it set in motion the hostilities that have led these two men to this “o rules” confrontation.
My Prediction: I’d expect some good, hard wrestling from the combatants, both of whom can work a match very well, but this is likely to be a heavily booked match with a gimmicky finish. Just when it looks like the Big Cowboy is about to win, Hornswoggle will pop out from under the ring and give Finlay the good old shillelagh. Finlay will club him to the mat and score the pin in a way that preserves JBL’s reputation.
Predicted Winner: Finlay
Predicted Grade: B-
The 24-Man Battle Royal
ECW Title Shot Later on This Card
The Story: Someone has to fight Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. WWE has decided it mighty as well be one of these guys. So it is that two-dozen wrestlers, including some of WWE’s least talented, least over performers, will vie for the right to work twice on the same card.
My Prediction: This would be a much easier match to predict if WWE had posted a definitive list of the competitors. The winner should be a face so that there will be at least a little heat when he fights Chavo Guerrero. Colin Delaney will help Tommy Dreamer win the match.
Predicted Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Predicted Grade: C+
Chavo Guerrero vs. Battle Royal Winner
ECW Championship
The Story: Someone will get a shot at the ECW title. The trick will be to make the fans care about it.
My Prediction: If Dreamer or Kane win the Battle Royal, Chavo Guerrero retains his title. If Colin Delaney somehow wins the Battle Royal, WWE would create a new “name” by having him beat Chavo and fight a rematch on the next pay per view.
Predicted Winner: Chavo Guerrero (unless Delaney wins the Battle Royal)
Predicted Grade: C+
Batista vs. Umaga
Brand Supremacy Challenge
The Story: The RAW and Smackdown general managers cooked yup this battle of the brands. Each named a representatives for the match.
My Prediction: Since RAW is WWE”s “lead show,” you might think they’d want Umaga to win and validate that claim. On the other hand, Batista is on a roll and is probably on his way to another title run. The pre-match signs run toward Umaga, who got destroyed by John Cena while Batista rolled over all opposition. That sounds like it’s building toward one of those “nobody really wins or losers” finishes, but I will go out on a limb and predict that Umaga will beat Batista through unfair means. Then Batista will go to RAW for a rematch. The Animal would then win the rematch and head to a pay per view as a challenger for the WWE Championship.
Predicted Winner: Umaga
Predicted Grade: B+
John Morrison vs. C.M. Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Chris Jericho
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
The Story: The Money in the Bank Ladder Match has become as much of a WM staple as the washed up celebrities. The winner gets thrust into the title picture.
My Prediction: This one was tailor-made for Jeff Hardy until other circumstances intervened. They may add someone like Matt Hardy as an eighth entrant. In the absence of Hardy, Chris Jericho looks like the winner. It’ll come down to him and MVP.
Predicted Winner: Chris Jericho
Predicted Grade: B+
The Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather
Boxer versus Wrestler
The Story: Big Show (“The World’s Largest athlete) and Floyd Mayweather “The Best Pound-for-Pound Boxer n the World”) are on a collision course that will put them both in a WrestleMania ring. In some unguessable way, this contest will allegedly determine whether boxing or wrestling is the superior martial art.
My Predictions: This is WM’s “freak show” match, so I guess it’s an improvement over things like a Battle Royal of failed characters. Not much better, though. We don’t know the rules of the match, so it’s a little hard to predict the winner. That we don’t even know if it is a work or some kind of ill-advised shoot doesn’t help matters, either. Big Show would win a shoot and Mayweather may have a victory in his contract if it’s a work. The one safe prediction is that it’ll be pretty lackluster.
Predicted Winner: Floyd Mayweather
Predicted Grade: D
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Career Threatening Match
The Story: Mr. McMahon, bent on getting rid of Ric Flair, decreed that the first time The Nature Boy loses a match, he must retire. With more than a little help from his friends, Flair has surmounted every challenge. Now he must get in the ring against the Heartbreak Kid.
My Prediction: The only real question, in my mind, is whether Flair wins the match and then retires or loses the match and then retires. Traditionally, wrestlers lose their final high profile match, but this might be a special case. Flair is going into the Hall of Fame and Michaels can absorb this kind of loss if needed. If I booked this, Flair would defeat Michaels after a long, brilliant match and then announce his retirement on RAW the next night. It would be the signature “feel good” moment at this WrestleMania. Since I’m not the booker, I figure Ric Flair will go out on his shield like a champion after a great match. He and Shawn Michaels will embrace at center-ring. They’ll have a retirement part on RAW
Predicted Winner: Shawn Michaels
Predicted Grade: A
Edge vs. Undertaker
World Heavyweight Championship
The Story: Undertaker and Edge have butted heads for some time. The Deadman wants another title run and, of course, The R-Rated Superstar stands in the way.
My Prediction: It’s hard to ignore the rumor that Undertaker will come out of WrestleMania with the title around his waist. It also makes sense to preserve his winning streak at the event. I’d let Edge win so that he would still have the belt when they do the wedding angle, but Taker has been so loyal and steadfast at WWE that my guess is that the rumors are right. Edge will fight like a tiger and his minions will mix in, but Undertaker will make Edge Rest in Peace, at least until next week’s Smackdown.
Predicted Winner: Undertaker
Predicted Grade: A-
Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
WWE Championship
Triple Threat
The Story: Randy Orton has the gold. John Cena and Triple H want the gold. Each man is more than willing to pound the other two into sludge, a feeling intensified by the last three episodes of RAW, on which each man had a chance to book the other two into grueling matches.
My Prediction: John Cena will be on hiatus to make a movie immediately after WrestleMania, which gives the McMahons all the excuse they need to put the belt back on Triple H.
Predicted Winner: Triple H
Predicted Grade: A
Predicted Grade for WrestleMania 24: B+
The Bottom Line
This year’s WrestleMania veers strongly from the customary emphasis on titles in favor of (hopefully) compelling match-up. Only the world titles will be defended, another kick in the teeth for the tag team and women’s divisions. Cruiserweights? What’s that?
The boxer versus wrestler, 24-Man Battle Royal and Bunnymania are time-wasters-in-the-making, but the other matches sounds pretty hot.
That’s it for today. I’ll return tomorrow with another installment of the Internet’s fastest-rising daily wrestling column.
– Arnie Katz
Crossfire4@cox.net
(3/27/08)
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