Shannon: Wrestlemania 24 Thoughts & Predictions
Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, takes a look at this Sunday’s Wrestlemania. He picks the winners and evaluates each match.
OK, let me start by saying that I will not be ordering Wrestlemania, this year. This year’s event is perhaps the weakest Wrestlemania, ever. That being said, it’s time for me to break out my crystal ball to run down the card and do my best to read the minds of the monkeys typing the scripts.
Maria & Ashley v Beth Phoenix & Melina
Bunnymania LumberJill Match
Candace is out of this one. She re-injured her shoulder, last week. Since she can’t go, Ashley got called up. This match just gives me nightmare flashbacks to when Sable and Torrie fought Miss Jackie (Gayda) and Stacy Keibler in that Bizarro Evening Gown match at Wrestlemania XX.
The main difference between this match and that one is that there are some competent wrestlers in this one. Sable, Torrie, Jackie and Stacy were lovely but they couldn’t wrestle their way out of a wet T-shirt. Melina and Ashley have some talent. Beth is one of the most talented female fighters of the last 20 years.
When it all comes out in the wash, expect Maria and Ashley to come out on top of this one. Melina will likely take the fall. This will set up a nice feud between Melina and Beth.
Expected Winners: Maria and Ashley
Expected Grade: C
Importance: C-
Finlay v JBL
Belfast Brawl (No-DQ, No Rules) Match
This one’s going to be just plain ugly. Finlay is fighting for family honor. JBL just wants to beat the daylights out of the Irishman. JBL has bragged about exposing Finlay’s heart through Hornswoggle. That may be his biggest mistake. Nothing is more dangerous than a person who’s family has been attacked.
Hornswoggle is going to be the deciding factor in this one. There are two ways that I see this one going. The way that I would write it is that Hornswoggle will assist his “father” in taking out the loud-mouth JBL. The crowd would eat that up. Sadly, I could see the writing team going with Hornswoggle coming to the ring to help his daddy, only to have JBL threaten to cripple the vertically-challenged grappler. Finlay would have to submit to prevent injury to Hornswoggle. JBL would then likely nail the Clothesline From Hell on Hornswoggle, anyway.
Expected Winner: JBL
Expected Grade: B
Importance: C
24 Man Battle Royal
Winner gets an instant shot at the ECW title.
This one is going to be either fantastic or horrible. There will be no middle ground here. Logic would say that with the push that he’s been getting, Kane should take the win. I just don’t see that as the ending of this one.
What I expect is that Colin Delaney will be told that if he wants to get an ECW contract, then he will have to win the Battle Royal. I expect Tommy Dreamer to help Colin survive the battle. In the end, Tommy will eliminate himself to give Colin the win and his contract.
Expected Winner: Colin Delaney
Expected Grade: B
Importance: B
ECW title match
Chavo v Winner of 24-Man Battle Royal.
As I mentioned, I expect Colin to get the win in the Battle Royal. I expect Chavo to totally destroy Colin. Chavo gets to keep his belt and Colin gets a contract. There really won’t be a loser in this one.
Expected Winner: Chavo Guerrero
Expected Grade: C
Importance: B-
Batista v Umaga
Smackdown v Raw Supremacy Challenge Match
This match, on paper, should be an even match-up. The truth is Batista is going to squash Umaga. Who the heck had the bright idea to waste Batista in this match? Umaga lost any momentum he had when John Cena dominated him. Batista has been on a massive run for quite some time.
Batista will try to make this one look good. Umaga is a decent wrestler, but he’s just not an equal for Batista. Batista might as well be facing Snitsky or Big Daddy V. Batista should have been placed in the Money in the Bank match or set against Big Show.
Expected Winner: Batista (well, duh)
Expected Grade: C
Importance: D
John Morrison v C.M. Punk v Mr. Kennedy v Carlito v Shelton Benjamin v M.V.P. v Chris Jericho
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
First of all, I expect a surprise 8th entrant for this match. There are a lot of rumors that Flair may get to compete twice at Wrestlemania. If Flair is in it, he’ll win in.
Since Flair hasn’t been announced for the Money in the Bank match, I will go with the seven men that have been announced. There are some members of this group that I’d bet the farm will not win. Jericho already has the I-C title. There’d be no reason to muddy the championship waters by letting him get a shot at one of the “Big Two”. The same goes for M.V.P., who holds the US title. John Morrison is still 1/2 of the Smackdown tag champs, so he’s almost certainly out of contention.
Carlito has been bogged down in Mid-card Hell ever since he ticked off the Powers-That-Be with his negative comments at last year’s Wrestlemania. Carlito is also set as a team with Santino, so why set him up as the Number One Contender to the title of his choice?
Shelton Benjamin deserves a title shot, but I don’t know if the Powers-That-Be feel that they can run with him, just yet. Shelton is going to put on a top-notch performance. If he doesn’t win, he will earn the respect of everyone who watches him. I figure that he will go out of the match with a huge spectacular move.
Mr. Kennedy won the Money in the Bank last year, only to be tricked out of the title shot by Edge. Mr. Kennedy has had issues with the Wellness Program, in the past. I’m not sure that Creative wants to risk pushing another star that could crash. Jeff Hardy’s suspension just has to have the writers on edge. I would like to see Kennedy win it, but I doubt that the company would go with Kennedy.
That brings us to C.M. Punk. Punk worked his tail off to push the ECW title. Punk is the best ECW champion since the re-launch of the brand/company. Punk deserves a run at the top. Punk v Triple H or Punk v Undertaker would be massive. Hopefully, Punk wouldn’t be foolish enough to waste his title shot on the ECW title. I love ECW, but it is simply not the WWE or World title.
Expected Winner: C.M. Punk
Expected Grade: A+
Importance: A
The Big Show v Floyd Mayweather
Boxer v Wrestler $20 Million Dollar Waste of Money Match.
This one will likely take it’s place as Number One on my Worse Wrestlemania Matches of All Time list. I am totally offended by this one. This match was the deciding factor in my passing on ordering the PPV. Big Show makes his comeback and instead of fighting Batista or Hulk Hogan, he has to job to an over-hyped boxer that is 1/3 of Show’s size? Give me a break.
Yes, I expect Big Show to do the job. Vince McMahon wouldn’t be stupid enough to take a top boxer and injure him. The backlash against WWE would be worse than anything that WWE has faced (with the exception of the Benoit/Steroids situation). Vince would never be able to get another sports star to come near the WWE if Mayweather were to be ripped apart by Big Show.
I hope that Big Show gets a title shot against Triple H or Undertaker as a reward for this embarrassment. Big Show is so much better than what he’s going to look like in this “match”.
Expected Winner: Floyd Mayweather
Expected Grade: F-
Importance: F-
Ric Flair v Shawn Michaels
Career Threatening Match
This is going to be THE match at Wrestlemania. Flair is ready to step out of the ring as an active wrestler. He needs to go out in major style. This match is the best way for Flair to step out in grand fashion.
Rumors have run rampant for a long time that Flair wants to lost to either Triple H or Shawn. Since Flair got past Triple H, then it’s up to Shawn to send Flair to the world of “Ex-Wrestler Turns Manager”.
The only possible twist to this one would be if Flair was forced into the Money in the Bank match. If he is in M-I-T-B, then he will win against Shawn. If he doesn’t, then it’s almost a lock that Shawn will take the win.
Going with the idea that Flair will not be in Money in the Bank, then Shawn will have to throw absolutely everything at Flair to take him out. I expect to see a bloody Flair pass out to Shawn’s new Leg Lock Finisher or to a Figure Four from Shawn. If Flair is going to “Pass the Torch” at Wrestlemania, then it would only really count if Shawn used some form of Leg Lock to end Flair’s career. I would be so irritated if Shawn used the Sharpshooter to finish this one off.
Expected Winner: Shawn Michaels
Expected Grade: A+
Importance: This can’t even be measured it’s so important.
Edge v Undertaker
World Title Match (Title v Streak)
Undertaker is getting very close to the end of his career. The rumor mill is working overtime that Undertaker is going to get the long title run that he was scheduled to have, last year. Injury put ‘Taker on the shelf before he could enjoy a good final run. The original plan was for ‘Taker to keep the title until Wrestlemania 24 and then drop the title and the streak in the same night, at least according to some reports.
Undertaker is the most successful Wrestlemania competitor. Edge is number two. If Edge was still undefeated going into this match, I might be tempted to give the nod to him. Since Edge has already lost at Wrestlemania, then having him beat Undertaker wouldn’t have quite the impact that it would if both men were undefeated.
I do anticipate several close calls for Undertaker. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chavo, Ryder and/or Hawkins make their presences known. Vickie might end up in the middle of this one, as well. Undertaker might pull a few tricks out his hat, as well. Undertaker is highly respected in this industry. It wouldn’t be that unusual for ‘Taker to bring out Kane, Paul Bearer, Mankind or any of a dozen other strange creatures to off-set the championship crew.
The main question isn’t IF ‘Taker is going to win, but HOW is he going to win it? The Tombstone would be the crowd’s preference, but ‘Taker seems to be moving away from that move. I expect him to send Edge to the mat with the Chokeslam and lock in the Triangle Choke for the submission win.
Expected Winner: Undertaker
Expected Grade: A
Importance: A
Randy Orton v John Cena v Triple H
Triple Threat WWE title match
This match is going to split the crowd, big time. The only thing that the audience will agree on is that they hate Orton. Triple H will likely be the favorite with the guys and the older fans. Cena will take the little kids and girls.
There is no reason to keep the belt on Orton. He’s run his course. He needs to be drafted to Smackdown to battle with Undertaker. Cena came back early from his injury, so it’s questionable if he could run with the belt, long term. Triple H hasn’t worn the belt for some time.
What I’d love to see is Triple H win the title and then announce that he has a new manager, Ric Flair. I’d also like to see Triple H pin Cena. That could set up several future options. Orton would have the right to complain that he was never beaten. That could set up a Triple H v Orton match at Backlash. From there, Orton could leave Raw and head to Smackdown. Triple H would then be free to battle John Cena at Judgment Day. I would then see the winner facing C.M. Punk at One Night Stand.
Expected Winner: Triple H
Expected Grade: A-
Importance: A-
Final Expected Grade: B-
Final Thoughts (going in):
Maybe I’m being too harsh on this year’s Wrestlemania. I just expect this Pay Per View to be a step or two ahead of everything else. The only match that really has my attention is Flair v Shawn. The title matches are acceptable. There are no tag title matches. The I-C and US titles are ignored. The Women’s title isn’t on the line. Beth Phoenix is stuck in a comedy skit gone bad.
I’m sure I’ll rent this one when it hits the market. I don’t know that I can even force myself to spend the money to buy a copy. The Mayweather/Show match has really soured me on this year’s event. The main things I want to see are the Hall of Fame ceremony and Flair v Shawn.
– Jay Shannon
JayofPWD@SBCGlobal.net
(3/25/08)
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