iMPACT (3/20) Recap: Strange Bedfellows!

Cornette announced that Tomko would fight Rhino on this show.

“Tonight it ain’t about me,” said Booker T when he took the ring mic. He announced his wife Sharmell’s official return to the Impact Zone.

Sharmell came to the ring, still brandishing the strap she used to such devastating effect at Destination X. Booker vowed that he would never put his wife in harm’s way again.

That’s when Robert Roode and Peyton Banks appeared at the head of the ramp. He agreed that Sharmell wouldn’t be in harms way… tonight.

Jim Cornette came out to remonstrate with Booker T about the way Sharmell had whipped everyone in sight, even him. The dyspeptic wrestling executive swore that this situation would have to end and announced a Six Sides of Steel cage match for Lockdown: Robert Roode and Peyton Banks versus Booker T and Sharmell.

Booker T became enraged at the thought of his wife subjected to such danger and smashed the table and the goodies it held previously placed in the ring to celebrate Sharmell’s return.

Jim Cornette decreed that, if Booker T had so much energy, he should fight tonight. The General Manager booked Booker T against AJ Styles.

AJ Styles whined to Crystal about having to work a match. He protested that he had a special guest there and that he would now have to get in the ring instead of attending to her.

Brother Ray, seconded by Johnny Devine, entered the scene to tell Styles that Tomko had recruited the brothers to fill out their team for the match at Lockdown.

He taunted Styles by saying that the fans would probably rather see Team 3D beat up the champs. Styles shot back that he thought the fans might like it even better if the champs beat Team 3D.

Regardless, Ray vowed that the four of them would work like a well-oiled machine. He also promised that “Uncle Ray and Uncle Devon” would have AJ Styles’ back in his match against Booker T.

Kaz told Eric Young that he was proud of him. Eric referred to the super hero in a way that gave the impression that he didn’t realize that he is Super Eric.

Showtime said he was fine to take on Scott Steiner and Petey Williams, but he hoped Black Reign and Rellik weren’t there. He also said that he felt better just knowing that the super hero was around.

Scott Steiner & Petey Williams (with Rhaka Khan) d. Kaz & Eric Young

Kaz started fast against Petey Williams as they swapped lightning-quick wrestling holds. Kaz executed several terrific Armdrags that led to near-covers.

Young came in with a Wristlock on Williams, who pushed him into the ropes to get out of the predicament. Young Bodyslammed him, twice, but Williams forced his shoulder off the mat in time!

Scott Steiner took his place in the ring slowly and methodically. He calmly walked over to Showtime and kicked him in the stomach. Big Poppa Pump threw the blond into the corner and assaulted him with kicks and punches.

Kaz avoided a Back Body Drop only to come out on the wrong end of Steiner’s Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Steiner Clotheslined Katz, paused to do some push-ups and threw him into the corner for double teaming.

Williams landed a two-footed kick to the stomach. When that didn’t lead to a cover, he tortured Kaz with an Abdominal Stretch, but Katz broke it up and emerged with a cover! The count ran out at “two,” though.

Petey Williams thought he had Kaz ready for the Canadian Destroyer, but his intended victim somehow reversed into a nasty-looking Reverse Piledriver!

Black Reign and Rellik came to the upper stage and riveted Eric Young’s attention. Scott Steiner yanked him up on the top turnbuckle and brought him to the mat with a Powerslam from the top! The pin was a formality.

Grade: B (less than original finish)

Scott Steiner looked very unhappy after the match. He put Petey Williams back in handcuffs and Rhaka Khan covered his head with the black bag.

In a pre-taped video, Mike Tenay tried to play peacemaker between Christian Cage and Rhino without apparent success.

Cage claimed that he always thought of Rhino as his friend, but Rhino told a story about how his little daughter wanted to know why “Uncle Christian” was beating up her daddy.

The meeting ended without a lot of progress toward reconciliation.

Tomko vs. Rhino

The match began with a simple shove, but soon Rhino was pummeling Tomko in the corner, punching and kicking him to the canvas! Tomko whipped Rhino into a turnbuckle, but when the War Machine got back to his feet, he returned to the same relentless attack.

Tomko connected with a Big Boot. When his attempted pin fell short, he asserted a Rear Chinlock. Rhino elbowed his way to freedom and then Clotheslined Tomko over the ropes to the floor!

Back from commercials, Rhino scored with a pair of Shoulder Blocks and used them to set up a devastating Belly-to-Belly Suplex with a release!

Just as Rhino set up to deliver a Gore, AJ Styles tripped him from behind and rolled under the ring to hide. Tomko blasted Rhino with a Clothesline and scored the pin.

Grade: B

After the match, the fans directed referee Earl Hebner’s attention to the area beneath the ring. The official lifted the flap and found AJ Styles!

Just as it seemed like Hebner would reverse the decision, Tomko attacked Rhino from behind! The tag team champions swung into some enthusiastic double teaming.

Christian Cage ran to the ring! He pounced on AJ Styles and knocked him to the canvas. Then he turned his attention to Tomko and went after the big man without fear or hesitation!

After the heels left the ring, Christian Cage stood alone with Rhino in the ring. The War Machine only gradually realized who had rescued him.

Christian extended his hand and, after a pause, Rhino shook it. The two men hugged.

Team 3D attacked the reunited friends from behind!

Kevin Nash rumbled to the ring, chair in hand, to rout the rulebreakers.

Jim Cornette ran out and, on the spot, made a tag team match between the duo of Rhino and Cage against Team 3D,

Black Machismo and SoCal Val went to a restaurant for their second date. Jay Lethal worried a lot about prices, though his cheapness didn’t hurt his standing with Val.

When they asked for glasses of water, Sonjay Dutt brought them, crashing this date as he did the first one.

Sonjay Dutt d. Homicide (with Hernandez & Salinas)
X-Scape Qualifying Match

Dutt took down Homicide, but he strutted for SoCal Val instead of following up his advantage. Dutt Armdragged his opponent – and again focused his attention on Val rather than the match.

Homicide took control at that point. He ripped off a T-Bone Suplex and narrowly missed converting it into a pin. He uncorked a Snap Suplex, but it didn’t pave the way for a successful cover.

Sonjay went for a Springboard, slipped and fell to the mat clutching his leg!
He pleaded with referee Slick Johnson not to call for the bell and stop the match, but he curled up in a ball on the mat.

As a sincerely concerned Homicide bent over the fallen Guru, Dutt sprang back to life! He quickly rolled Homicide up and scored the shocking pin!

Grade: C+

Sonjay Dutt tried to embrace both members of LAX after the match, but the Latinos didn’t buy the bogus friendliness.

Hernandez treated Sonjay Dutt to a king-size Border Toss.

Crystal told Booker T and Sharmell she was shocked by the latest Cornette ruling.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on right now,” he responded. “I can’t even think straight!”

He promised Robert Roode that he would “mess you up” if he even looked at Sharmell.

Turning his attention to his upcoming match with AJ Styles, Booker said it wasn’t anything personal, just business.

Another “Rough Cut” episode concentrated on how BG James and Kip James felt about their forced reunion.

Kip felt that BG needed to step up his game, maybe spend more time in the gym. BG soft-pedaled his own limitations and intimated that Kip wasn’t quite up to the challenge.

AJ Styles told the arena, speaking from center-ring, that he had a Special Guest,

It turned out to be Karen Angle, of course, and the two shared an enthusiastic hug.

Styled called her, “My own personal Princess,” when he introduced her.

Booker T d. AJ Styles

Karen Angle watched the match from a side among the ringsiders.

Booker T started firing punches at the bell. He Clotheslined AJ Styles and then Bodyslammed him! Booker stood Styles up and chopped him down with a series of three knife-edge blows!

Booker T repeatedly kneed the Prince of Phenomenal in one corner. Then he whipped him into another Turnbuckle and jolted him with a Clothesline! Styles came back with some offense of his own, but he blew a Corner Charge and ate the turnbuckle! Styles stood, momentarily stunned, as Booker T Superkicked him to the mat.

Just when it seemed that Booker T had everything under control, Robert Roode appeared on the upper stage! That gave Styles a breather and the former multi-time TNA champ stunned Booker with a Clothesline and almost picked up the pin!

Coming back form commercial break, Mike Tenay informed fans that Jim Cornette and Matt Morgan had banished Roode from the ringside area.

As the camera returned their attention to the ring, AJ Styles uncorked an Enzuiguiri that nearly put away Booker! It was close, but not quite enough. Booker T proved he had a lot left in the tank with a Spinkick and a Suplex! He crashed AK to the mat with a Side Slam, but the try for the pin didn’t work.

Styles avoided the Ax Kick and connected with the Pele!

Peyton Banks attacked Sharmell out of nowhere! She probably began to regret that as soon as she did it, because Ms. T roughed her up pretty thoroughly, including some stinging blows with the strap! Sharmell ran Banks out of the building!

AJ Styles watched the fight when he should’ve had his mind on more immediate matters. Booker T rolled him up and kept his shoulders to the canvas for the required three count.

Grade: B (It would’ve rated higher with a better finish)

Raisha Said and Awesome Kong had a new message to relate during an interview with Crystal. Well, really, it was a pretty familiar text as Raisha Said articulated Kong’s hatred of ODB and Gail Kim.

ODB & Gail Kim d. Angelina Love & Velvet Sky

Angelina Love and ODB who started for their respective teams and the Trailer Park Princess’ strength immediately gave her control of the action.

Velvet Sky no sooner entered the ring than an ODB Drop Toehold. ODB got in a few punches and then handed off to Gail Kim for chops and punches.

Gail Kim Dropkicked Angelina Love and followed up swiftly with a flying Cross Body Block off the middle rope. She took a leaf out of the Undertaker’s playbook and went Old School on Love.

When Kim banged against the ropes, Velvet Sky kneed her in the back. The former Knockout Champion whirled on her attack and swatted her from the ring apron! When she turned back to Angelina, the blonde battler surprised her and used a quick cover that nearly led to a pinfall!

Velvet Sky re-entered the fight. The Beautiful People dropped simultaneous elbows on Gail Jim. Velvet Sky whipped Kim into the corner and brought her out with a Bulldog Headlock. Angelina Love came in with a Low-Altitude Dropkick, but her attempted cover wasn’t enough. She slammed Kim’s head on the canvas, but she couldn’t translate that into a winning cover. Kim caught Love’s leg in mid-kick and tossed her to the canvas!

When both women tagged out, ODB made life miserable for Velvet Sky with a pair of punishing Clotheslines. ODB leveled Sky with a Face Plant, Velvet Sky avoided the pin and shocked ODB with a Jawbreaker! ODB reversed a whip and dished out a hellacious Powerslam! She covered and took the victory.

Grade: B-

Roxxie LaVeaux came to the ring after the match and chased The Beautiful People out of the arena.

When Jeremy Borash asked Kurt Angle what he thought about AJ Styles bringing Karen to the arena as his guest, TNA’s World Champion went ballistic. He grabbed JB by the collar and told him that Karen Angle didn’t exist any more.

Angle then turned his fury on Samoa Joe (in absentia). He stated that his goal since coming to TNA has been to get rid of Joe and the match at Lockdown is the opportunity he has wanted so badly.

“You can do all the training you want. It’s not going to matter,” he growled into the camera.

Kurt Angle had a “sparring session” against four different guys. He made three of them submit to various MMA-style holds and knocked the fourth unconscious.

Mike Tenay announced that a confident Kurt Angle had decided to hold another public training session, but this time his opponents would be Tomko and AJ Styles instead of four unknown jobbers.

Jeremy Borash joined a boisterous Team Tomko in the backstage area. Tomko put Nash on notice that they were going to collide. Brother Ray and Brother Devon dredged up one of their classics from the ECW era and told Team Cage to “Beat us if you can, survive if we let you!”

A video reviewed the troubled friendship of Christian Cage and Rhino.

As Team 3D came to the ring, Mike Tenay reminded fans about their attack on the reality show star on the previous episode of iMPACT.

Christian Cage & Rhino d. Team 3D (with Johnny Devine)

Christian Cage and Brother Devon started off circling each other, looking for an opening. Rhino tagged himself in almost immediately, but Devon greeted him with a couple of jarring punches to the head! He followed Rhino into the corner with a pair of punches, but the War Machine reversed and fired him into the opposite turnbuckle. Rhino charged across the ring to a Shoulder Block!

Cage replaced his partner in the ring, but Devon quickly brought him up short with a powerful smash as The Instant Classic ricocheted off the ropes! When Devon whipped Christian Cage into the ropes, he zipped under the ropes to the outside – and yanked Brother Ray off the apron!

Cage went to the top and connected with a Leg Lariat on Devon!

Johnny Devine hooked Cage’s leg, which enabled Brother Devon to take sneaky advantage!

When the program returned from commercials, Team 3D had Cage at their mercy in the corner. They kept picking him up and then knocking him down. Devon Bodyslammed Cage, but his attempted Flying Headbutt hit only canvas!

Devon did a Go-Behind on Cage, but The Instant Classic flipped right over Devon’s back and scored with an Inverted DDT! Christian Cafe had taken so much punishment that it took a great effort for him to crawl to his corner and make the tag to Rhino.

Rhino dealt Brother Ray a Back Body Drop and then did the same to Brother Devon! He took both men down again with a Wingspread Clothesline! Rhino jolted Ray with a Spinebuster, but Devon prevented the cover.

Christian Cage backed Devon into the corner, mounted the ropes and rained down punches! Ray come up behind him and took him away from Devon on his shoulders. Christian Cage did a forward roll and Rhino nailed him with a Headbutt!

Christian Cage blasted Devon with an out-of-ring Cross Body Fly! Rhino Gored a half-conscious Ray and covered!

Tomko stunned the whole audience by pulling the referee out of the ring! The official immediately disqualified Team 3D.

Grade: B+

Tomko went to work on Rhino, soon joined by AJ Styles!

Christian Cage braved lopsided odds to come to Rhino’s rescue. Devon Nash, trusty chair in hand, joined Christian and Rhino to somewhat even the odds and simply stormed through the heels. He battered them all, until they took out his knee!

That brought Curryman and Shark Boy to the ring! Devon creamed Shark Boy from behind, but the Motor City Machine Guns picked that moment to join the fight on the side of righteousness!

Tomko gave Alex Shelley a Backbreaker! Team 3D started dishing out Death Drops like they were gumdrops!

Tomko and Styles took out Shark Boy with a Tornadoplex!

“Tomko is sending a message, loud and clear,” screamed Mike Tenay.

Just then, the arena went dark. Some very familiar music filled the Impact Zone and familiar images filled the screen.

As the show faded to black, speculation was high that the fourth member of Team Christian will be Sting.

Overall Grade for this episode: B+

That’s it for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with another installment of the Internet’s fastest-rising daily wrestling column.

– Arnie Katz
Crossfire4@cox.net
(3/22/08)