The Katz Files – Arnie Katz

Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly d. Carlito * Santino Marello (with Maria)
World Tag Team Championship

Maria’s little black dress had a huge white Playboy emblem on the chest. Jim Ross mentioned that her Playboy issue will be out during the first week in March. Guess that will wise up the marks who spent money to vote after the photo shoot was obviously already in the can.

Cody Rhodes started strong against Santino Marello with a Bodyslam and an Elbow Drop! After kicking him a few times, the second-generation wrestler Bealed the former IC champ to the center of the ring. Morella took down Rhodes Hard, which led to some vicious double teaming. Carlito stunned Rhodes with an Elbow Drop to the sternum, but the cover proved premature.

Carlito got the tag and soon had Rhodes trapped in a Rear Chinlock. The two heels kept after Rhodes, dishing out the punishment with a generous hand and preventing a rescuing tag. When Hardcore Holly did finally get into the action, he rapidly cleaned house on the two opponents.

Carlito took the brunt of Holly’s attack, but Hardcore soon turned his attention to Marello. Unfortunately for Santino, he got too involved watching Jerry Lawler try to coax Maria to the announce table. Hardcore Holly delivered the Alabama Slamma and that was the end of the match.

Grade: C+

A video presented Big Show’s confrontation with Floyd Mayweather from last week’s RAW

After the footage, Jim Ross reported that the boxer and wrestler will clash at WrestleMania

“It’s David and Goliath all over again,” said Lawler, “but this time Goliath is going to squash him!”

Cameras took fans to the WrestleMania press conference held earlier in the day. Mayweather and Big Show had a stare-down, but not much actually happened.

William Regal told Tod Grisham that he was setting up a main event with plenty of conflict for this RAW It’s John Cena & Triple H versus Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy.

Chris Jericho joined the segment. After he and Regal insulted each other’s haircuts, Regal told Y2J that he would have to qualify for the Money in the Bank match. And because Jericho is such a special person, Regal explained, he should have an equally special opponent.

The RAW general manager announced that Chris Jericho will have to beat Jeff Hardy – in the very next match!

Chris Jericho d. Jeff Hardy
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match

Jeff Hardy’s hair looked much darker than usual. Perhaps they are trying to give him a more serious look, now that he is bidding to become part of RAW’s main event group.

Chris Jericho grabbed a Wristlock over the initial Collar-and-Elbow, but Hardy reversed nimbly. Jericho seized a Side Headlock, but Hardy threw him into the ropes. Chris survived the collision with a well-timed Shoulder block and then added a second one! Hardy roared back with a pair of Armdrags that sent Jericho back and forth across the ring like a rag doll!

Chris Jericho crashed Hardy to the canvas with a Suplex and kept him there with an Elbow Drop. When Jericho missed a Clothesline, Hardy used the opening to catapult Jericho over the top rope to the floor and then blast him with a Baseball Slide to the outside.

When the show returned from a break, Hardy forced himself to his feet and hit the ropes. Jericho gave him a knee to the gut that spun him around 360 degrees! A kick-out stopped the count at “two.”

Jericho picked up some momentum with two fast Clotheslines and a Shortarm Clothesline. Hardy took a boot to the stomach when he recklessly charged into a corner. Jericho tried for a Bulldog, but Hardy ran him into the turnbuckle at high speed! Hardy added a Knee Drop, but it wasn’t enough to enforce the cover.

Chris Jericho threw the Extremist into the corner. Jeff wanted to turn it into a Whisper in the Wind, but he lost his footing. Jericho climbed the ropes after him, but Hardy succeeded in hurling the blond rocker to the mat! Hardy hit a version of his Swanton Bomb, but the cover wasn’t quite good enough.

Jeff Hardy thought he had Jericho ready for a Huracanrana, but Y2J stopped it cold and turned it into a Walls of Jericho! Hardy made the ropes to break the hold.

Hardy shrugged off a kick to the head and floored Jericho with a Reverse Sit-out Powerbomb! Jeff Hardy tried another Swanton, but Jericho moved out of the way and nailed him with a Lionsault off the middle rope! Hardy got his shoulder up at “two.”

Jericho blocked a Twist of Fate and then Hardy foiled the Walls of Jericho!

But then Jericho rolled up Jeff Hardy and claimed victory with a quick pin.

Grade: B (Not a terrific ending to a very good match)

As Mr. McMahon got into the ring, Jim Ross lauded Hornswoggle’s fine spirit and said he was “a good guy to have around.”

“For the first time in my life, I’ve made a mistake,” Mr. McMahon confessed. The WWE’s Boss made no excuses for what he called “tough love,” but he said that Hornswoggle had not had coming what he got when Mr. McMahon left the ring.

Mr. McMahon then called upon John Bradshaw Leyfield to come out and apologize. With a minimum of delay, the Cowboy Financiers walked – and where is that long white limo? – to the ring.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t do it sooner,” said Leyfield.

He then began to explain the rest of the storyline in simple narrative. He told Mr. McMahon that Hornswoggle was not his son, but rather Finlay’s child.

Mr. McMahon demanded proof, but he seemed relieved and willing to accept this with surprisingly little hesitation.

Leyfield told Mr. McMahon that this was all a plot cooked up by his own family! He further explained that Hornswoggle himself is completely ignorant of the truth and definitely not part of any conspiracy.

Then Leyfield said he would beat the truth out of Finlay in the ring. He didn’t say “at WrestleMania, but it’s probably either there or on the next RAW

Let’s give both men an “A” for having the guts to go out there with this pathetic excuse for a dramatic scene. When I called for them to wind up the Hornswoggle plot that had become both tedious and obvious, I had no idea they would suddenly just tell fans the next several plot twists. Well, at least it’s nearly finished.

Triple H greeted John Cena in the locker room. He said he knew why Cena had come to see him. He ran through the usual “I hate you, you hate me, but we’re partners” stuff with a fittingly sarcastic tone.

Cena told HHH that tonight he didn’t have to watch Cena’s back, “but you better watch your own.”

Umaga d. DH Smith

DH Smith got in a couple of punches at the opening bell, but Umaga took over after that in a lopsided, pointless squash match.

The Samoan finished one of WWE’s brightest young prospects with the Samoan Spike.

Grade: F (An ugly, boring squash)

William Regal, having a nice visit with Paul and Katie Lea Burchill in his office, got a challenge from Vickie Guerrero. Se wanted him to designate a RAW representative to fight a Smackdown guy on the next show to prove which program is superior.

Regal instantly nominated Umaga for the assignment. Paul Burchill complained that he wanted to go to Smackdown to fight on RAW’s behalf. Regal praised Burchill’s work, but he told the young competitor that he still had to show him a little more before he can work such important matches.

As they left, Paul Burchill tried, none-too-subtly, to pimp his sister in exchange for more favorable treatment by Regal.

Shawn Michaels d. Lance Cade (with Trevor Murdoch) via DQ

Cade capitalized on his strength to make a fast start that climaxed in a Back Suplex. Michaels tried a Back Slide that didn’t quite work and Cade retaliated with a Neckbreaker that came close to earning a three count!

Cade caught Michaels with a Neck Twister from behind, but HBK chopped his way to freedom. HBK threw his foe into the ropes, but Lance Cade kicked him to the mat on the rebound!

Cade introduced HBK’s face to a couple of turnbuckles. He came in too fast on a corner charge and absorbed a two-footed kick to the chest. Shawn got in a couple of chops before Cade brought the run to a screeching halt with a Side Slam!

After Michaels hit a Flying Elbow from the top, he started to tune up for Sweet Chin Music. Trevor Murdoch jumped to the ring apron and attacked him from behind!

HBK fought off Murdock and somehow trapped Cade in his version of the Figure-Four Leg lock. That triggered an illegal attack by Murdoch, which led the referee to disqualify Cade.

Grade: B-

The tag partners beat up Michaels until HBK evades their Hi-Lo double-team. He gained a measure of revenge by giving Trevor Murdoch Sweet Chin Music.

Ric Flair joined Shawn Michaels in the ring. The Nature Boy thanked Shawn and looked forward to what he said would be the greatest weekend of his life.

Flair then went on to say that one thing would make it even better: a match against The Showstoppa.

When Michaels expressed reluctance and mentioned the stip that hangs over every Flair match, Slick Ric pointed out that a Michaels victory over him was no sure thing.

He pressed the point about the match until Michael agreed. The two men shook hands and then hugged.

Mike Adamle announced two more Hall of Fame inductees in the Class of 2008., High Chief Peter Maivia and “Soulman” Rocky Johnson. They had a very nice video to honor each of them.

They announced a match called “Bunnymania” for WrestleMania.

John Cena & Triple G d. Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy

The heels tried a sneak attack, but it broke down into a general melee in which the babyfaces definitely got the better of the exchange.

When the show returned from commercials, Triple H was pounding Orton, but he couldn’t quite convert it into a pin.

Triple H beat on Mr. Kennedy in one corner and then threw him into the opposite turnbuckle before jolting him with a Back Elbow on the rebound! Kennedy came back with some strong right hands, but Triple H rocketed him into the ropes and dealt a Spinebuster on the rebound!

When John Cena replaced HHH, Mr. Kennedy found himself helpless in the corner thanks to a barrage of punches and kicks. When Cena and Triple H had a little friction on the tag, s Mr. Kennedy used the distraction to attack from behind! The champion came in and immediately began to do his version of the Garvin Stomp on Triple H. Orton hit The Game with a Double Kneedrop, but Triple H got his shoulder up in time.

Mr. Kennedy took his turn roughing up Triple H, forcing him into the corner for a full serving of pain. Triple H landed a punch and then a kick, but Kennedy’s cross-ring charge to a High Knee crumpled him in the corner!

The double teaming continued, until Mr. Kennedy took a boot to the face on a careless corner charge. Orton rushed into replace his partner just in time to keep Triple H from making the tag. And subjected him to the Across-the-Back Backbreaker!

Randy Orton tried to perform the RKO, but Triple H blocked the move and made the tag!

Kennedy came in, too, but the offense was all Cena! Cena scored with a Lariat and then a Reverse Atomic Drop! After planting Mr. Kennedy with authority, Cena did the Five-Knuckle Shuffle/ He went for the FU, but Orton stopped him! The Game attacked Orton and drove him from the ring.

Cena found himself isolated in the ring with Mr. Kennedy. He clamped on the STFU and forced a quick submission!

Grade: B+

As John Cena and Triple H stared at each other, Mr. Kennedy attacked John from behind and rocked him with the Mic Check!

The show ended with Triple H standing in the ring with Cena knocked out on the mat.

That’s it for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with another installment of the Internet’s fastest-rising daily wrestling column.

– Arnie Katz
Crossfire4@cox.net
(2/28/08)

This is column number 43 in a row in the current daily series.