The Katz Files – Arnie Katz
iMPACT (2/7) Recap: Pre-PPV Fireworks!
The Kingfish Arnie Katz presents a report on this week’s TNA TB show along with his inimitable commentary.
Kaz d. Black Reign
Four-Corners Rat Match
The booking of this match was remarkably similar to those good ol’ Four-Corners Bull Rope matches, though at least we didn’t have to see the combatants drag each other around and around to each of the corners.
The goal in this match was to capture the box with Black Reign’s pet rat. There is a box on top of each of four of the ring posts – they haven’t yet adjusted to the concept that a TNAS ring has more posts. One box contains the pet rat, but the others had mouse traps. A wrestler could open any box and take the consequences. The winner was the one who found the rat.
With two of the mousetraps sprung, the combatants started to look at another candidate. Black Reign had a clear opportunity to check it out, but decided not to do so. Kaz also seemed suspicious. Finally, Black Reign’s curiosity got the better of him and he selected the box to find – another mousetrap!
“That means Misty is sitting in the last remaining box,” said Don West in his guise as Sherlock Holmes.
Kaz decked Black Reign and retried Misty in her cage from the final box to win te match!
Grade: C+ (a bit predictable)
After the match, Black Reign used his ilegal weapon to clout Kaz in the head and take the rat back into his possession. So much for th emotivation for this match, eh?
“I can’t believe this fool with all of his taunting week after week,” Booker T told Jeremy Borash, when asked about his impending showdown with Robert Roode at Against All Odds.
He reported that Sharmell is now home and recuperating well. He told fans that he had asked his wife what he could do to make her feel better. Her reply: Beat the Hell out of Robert Roode!’
“It’ll be a night to remember,” Booker promised. “Not just for me, not just for Sharmell, but for Robert Roode!”
Homicide d. Jhnn Devine via DQ
X Division Championship.
TNA says there may not be an X Division after the pay per view, but it didn’t stop them from booking the title match between the X- Division Traitor Johnny Devine and one half of the fearsome LAX tag team.
After the opening stalemate, Homicide began to find the range with some right-hand shots. Homicide whipped him into the corner and gave him a modified Back Body Drop on the rebound, but Johnny landed on the apron instead of falling all the way to the floor.
The champion tried to come off the top turnbuckle, but Homicide stepped nimbly out of the range and then got him with a Double Knee. Devine went to the outside, where Homicide got him with an out-of-ring Hilo.
As both men returned to the ring, Homicide waylaid Devine and took control. Devine hit the ropes, but he took a Monkey Flip on the rebound. Homicide sent Devine into the ropes once more – and this time subjecte dhim to a lightning-quick Powerslam! When Homicide tried a top-rope Splash, though, Devine rolled out of the target area.
Devine tried to kick a hole in Homicide’s chest. Homicide not only escaped, but he reversed positions into a cover! It wasn’t enough for the pin and the win, though.
Homicide kicked and stomped his foe. When he went to the top turnbuckle, Devine connected with a couple of dome-rattling smashes to the side of the head@. A high knee took Homicide off his perch!
Devine tried for a Double Underhook Suplex. Homicide blocked the move and uncorked his own T-Bone Suplex! Homicide got some momentum from the ropes and blasted Johnny with a Corkscrew Body Press.
Devine came back with a punishing Wristlock. He turned it into a DDT, but he couldn’t keep Mr. 187 on the canvas. Homicide connected with a Neckbreaker and a Back Body Drop, but the pin was still out of reach.
Homicide caught Devine with a Stunner and came within inches of a pin. He executed the Gringo Killer, which would certainly have led to a pinif Brother Devon hadn’t swooped into the ring to break it up.
The referee called for the bell and disqualified Johnny Devine.
GradeL B+ (very solid work by both)
In the trawl that erupted after the match, Salinas knocked away Brother Ray’s kendo stick. Hernandz caught Johnny Devine and made him pay with a Powerbomb that shook the whole ring!
Christian Cage asked for TV time to issue an open invitation to Tomko to meet him at center ring to discuss their situation.
After a lengthy video showed the history of the Christian Cage-Kurt Angle feud and Samoa Joe’s role in it, Jim Cornette started the signing ceremony.
It looked like things would go smoothly this time, but the TNA General Manager reckoned without Kurt Angle.
“If you do anything in any way, shape or form to make me lose that match, that’ll be the last thing you ever do!” The TNA World Champion warned Samoa Joe. Kurt went on to complain that Joe has had it in for him since his arrival in TNA and attributed it to Joe’s realization that Angle had replaced him as TNA’s best.
Samoa Joe promised to call the match down the middle – and then heaved Angle through the table! Samoa Joe left the ring with the contrast still unsigned.
The Rock & Rave Infection did an interview with Jeremy Borash. They again carried those toy guitars, but it’s unlikely that most fans had eyes for anything except Christy Hemme’s outrageous outfit. It looked like a pair of wide suspenders and a pair of hot pants. She must’ve been hlued into it, soncisdering the violent movements she made before, during and after the match.
Curryman & Sharkboy d. Rock & Rave Infection (with Christy Hemme)
Sharkboy took it right to Jimmy Rave at the opening bell in a nip-and-tuck match in which the masked men combined an aggressive offense with some humorous touches.
After the match got going, Lance Hoyt made the mistake of mocking Curryman. (He;s an easy target, but getting him angry didn’t help the Rock & Ravers.) Curryman failed to knock down Hoyt with a pair of attempted sholder blocks. He offered to let Hoyt tri to Shoulder Block him, but when the big guy headed for the ropes, Currayman tripped him and Hoyt fell flat on his face!
Sharkboy knocked Rave into Hoyt, but Curryman ran right into Lance Hoyt’s big boot! Hoyt scored with a Front Suplex, but Jimmy Rave wasn’t able to follow up with a pin. Rave smashed into Curryman with a Shoulder Block and a Low-Altitude Dropkick, but it still didn’t lead to a pinning cover.
Hoyt picked up Curryman, aiming for a Powerbomb, but the bizarre masked man squirted out of his clutches. Sharmboy rushed into the ring and his furious attack had the much larger Hoyt backed against the ropes! When Hoyt shot Sharkie into the ropes, the Man in Blue blasted him with a Thesz Pres!
Sharkboy dealt Stunners to both heels. Curryman executed a move in which he pulled Rave across his shoulder to a Face Plant! (It’s called “the Spice Rack.”) Curryman invited Sharkboy into the ring and he closed out the match with an effective cover.
Grade: B
After the match, Sharkboy celebrated by dousing himself with clam juice.
Tomko told Crystal that he would come to the ring to talk to Christian Cage, because of their long past association.
“The Armstrongs partied till they puked,” said a jubilant BG James. “Everyone know that if you throw a fist at an Armstrong, eight fists are coming back at you.”
“All the training is over. All the hard parts are over,” declared Bullet Bob Armstrong. ”You better be ready,” he warned the champions, “because we’re open for business.”
Kip James joined the interview to wish father and son the best of luck.
The announcers reviewed the Against All Odds card.
AJ Styles d. Tiger Mask
Before the bell, AJ tried to apologize to the Angles in general and Karen Angle in particular.
AJ Styles paid so little attention to his opponent that Tiger Mask nailed him with a Dropkick at the very start of the match!
Style worked a Wristlock until Tiger Mask reversed it into ab Arnlock and then blitzed the Prince with a Springboard Elbow!
Styles charged across the ring at Tiger Mask. He thought he had the multi-time Jr. Heavyweight champion in his sites, but he missed completely and ended up on the arena floor! Styles lured his foe to the ropes and then sneakily pulled him down to the ringside area by the foot!
Tiger Mask regained his composure quickly and tossed Styles into the seats! The Phenomenal One retaliated with a Flying Forearm off the guard rail that put the masked man on the floor!
Styles tried to remove the mask as a sign of disrespect. Tiger Mask bit him to discourage the violation of his privacy. He hit a Centon, but it only earned a two count. When styles left the squared circle again, Tiger Mask soared high and nailed him with a Cross Bodt!
Back in the ring, Tiger Mask rocked his foe with a Double Underhook Sit-out Powerbomb! Styles kicked out at “two!”
AK came off the tp turnbuckle and seized an Inverted DDT that almost stole the match. The two slugged it out at center-ring, until Styles came off the ropes and took some damage from an alert Tiger Mask!
As the two men tussled along the ropes, they careened into referee Rudy Charles. Styles used the opportunity to plant a Mule Kick below the equator. AJ quickly put Tiger Mask into position for a Styles Clash – and that was enough for a victory!
Grade: B- (hey brought it home a little quickly)
Christian Cage came to the ring and, shortly thereafter, Tomko came out to meet him. Christian said he wasn’t going to review the whole tangled story, but he thought it was good thatTomko was going to act in his own best interests. He even got the fans to give Big T a round of applause.
“That doesn’t say where things are between you and me,” Cage pointed out. He offered to let Tomko “finish what AJ started.” With that, he turned his back to five Tomko the chance to stab him in the back.
Tomko spu Cage around and coked his fist. He paused, uncertain, and then just walked away. The human enigma still has many secrets untold.
Christian Cage d. Judas Mesias Mesias charged Christian Cage, who sidestepped the oncoming maniac. They went Collar-and-Elbow, but Mesias used pure strength to force Cage to th mat! Mitchell’s favorite son carried the smaller man into a corner and then just about chopped him in half! They went back and forth, Mesias incurred the referee’s displeasure (not to mention his opponent’s) by biting Cage on the side of the head. Christian dodged several of Mesias’ attempted Clotheslines and Forearm Smashes, but the ones that hit all did heavy damage. Cage did a Float Over to get out of the way of a Corner Charge, but Mesias picked him up as if he was going to do a Millitary Press. Cage levered his way out of the predicament and Bealed Mesias to the outside. Mesias attempted a Suplex, but Cage miraculously twisted in mid-air and came down on his feet! Mesias tried again, unsuccessfully, before the Instant Classic dealt a punch to the chest and a kick to the belly to break free. Cage pursued Mesias into the ringside area and chopped him repeatedly against the outer barrier. He heaved the big man back under the ropes and set up for a top turnbuckle move. When he saw that JudasMesias was getting back to his feet, Cage have up that idea. Mesias’ power prevented Christian from executing the Unprettier. Back from commercials, they had returned to the ring, where Cage ducked under two attempted Clotheslines – only to fall prey to a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Mesias landed some punches and kicks and then got down on the mat with his adversary to choke him. With James Mitchell egging him on, Judas Mesias choked Cage on the ropes so mercilessly that he risked disqualification! The Instant Classic fought him way out of a Crucifix, but Mesias administered a couple of collisions with convenient turnbuckles that didn’t do Cage any good. Mesias slingshotted his rival, throat-first, across the top rope. His lazy cover didn’t come close to a pin. Cage leaped on Mesias’ back andseized a Sleeper Hold! Mesias backed into a turnbuckle at high speed, but Christian somehow roared back with a Missile Dropkick! It had a devastating effect on Mesias, but Chrisian was in no shape to capitalize on the move. Mesias’ corner charge connected with nothing but the turnbuckle. Cage’s DDT looked great, but he couldn’t translate it into a pin. Mitchell distracted Cage with his cane, which caused an attempted Missile Dropkick to misfire. Mesias’ cover fell short of the three count. That brought out Abyss – with his arm swathed in barb wire! He went for his father and then his half-brother. Christian tried to exploit the confusion with anUnprettier, but Mesias stopped him. He immediately tried again and, this itme, pulled off his signature finisher. He covered and got the win. Grade: B As Abyss dealt Mesias a Clothesline with the barb wrie-covered arm, AJ Styles hit the ring and attacked Christian Cage! He and Mesias stomped and punched the Instant Classic as the crowd shrieked protests! Styles screamed insanely as he pounded Cage’s head into the mat. AJ set up the Styles Clash, but Cage reversed it into a Sharpshooter! Kurt Angle zoomed into the ring and smashed Cage in the back of the head to breakup the hold! Tomko rushed the ring to chase away the hells and save Christian Cage. He helped him to his feet, shook Cage’s hand and left. Overall Grade for this show: B That’s it for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with my Against All Odds Preview!. – Arnie Katz This is column number 25 in a row in the current daily series.
Crossfire4@cox.net
(2/10/08)
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