HeadLocker Classic –Jay Shannon
Who “blew up” Vince?
Special Note: We thought you’d enjoy this classic Jay Shannon column from 2007 about the Major Angle That Didn’t.
The J-Train stops at all the most interesting destinations. In a special edition of HeadLocker, Jay looks at the “death” of Vince McMahon and the likely suspects that took out Vince in an explosion on “live” TV.
All the talent lined the hallway as Vincent Kennedy McMahon prepared to leave the arena. There was a great deal of tension in the air. The Draft had just taken place and turmoil ruled. Vince looked back at the arena with sadness etched across his face. He opened the door of his white, stretch limo and stepped inside. As the door of the limo closed, the night erupted in fire. The limo was engulfed in a fireball. Vince was seemingly trapped inside. No one could survive that level of Hell on Earth. Could Vince be dead? And who did it? That is what I will explore in this special edition of CrimeWatch …Err HeadLocker.
Linda McMahon
The old saying is: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Vince has cheated on Linda many times over. His affairs are legendary. It’s unlikely that Linda would dirty her own hands, but she would have the resources to hire someone to take out her lying, cheating spouse. This is the kind of stuff that keeps CourtTV on the air. Also, with Vince’s latest escapades with Donald Trump and Bobby Lashley, he’s been an embarrassment to the company. That could have provided the final straw to send her over the edge.
Odds: 25 to 1 against
Shane McMahon
The “Golden Boy” has been waiting in the wings to take over from his father. Vince took the business from his father, so it would seem natural that Shane would take the company from Vince. Being that Vince would hang onto his position as long as possible, Shane may have felt the need to eliminate his father. This may have been the only hope that Shane felt he had to grab power. With Vince gone, Shane could easily step into his father’s shoes.
Odds: 5 to 1 against
Bobby Lashley
The “Ebony Juggernaut” was drafted to Raw. As a side effect of this, Lashley was stripped of the ECW title. Lashley was very angry at Vince for taking his title. Lashley does have a military background, and could have experience with explosives. Revenge could be the motive for taking out Vince. It doesn’t seem to fit with his personality, but I’ve seen Full Metal Jacket. Stress can push a person to do things he/she wouldn’t normally do.
Odds: 100 to 1 against
Jonathan Coachman
The “personal assistant” to Vince is the one who directed Vince to his limo. Coachman may still have hard feelings towards Vince for the firing of Eric Bischoff. Also, Vince has put Coachman through all kinds of beatings and abuse. Coachman might think that eliminating Vince would set the stage for a return of Bischoff or a promotion, thanks to a grateful Shane McMahon. Of course, Shane might well pull a “Mirror, Mirror”/James T. Kirk on Coachman with a “Not on my ship”.
Odds: 100 to 1 against
Paul Heyman
The father of ECW was distraught when he was fired by Vince. He’s been in seclusion since his termination. Vince did destroy Heyman’s creation, and Paul has never gotten over that. On various interviews, Paul has ranted about his hatred for the way ECW was knocked off SpikeTV by Vince. It would be normal for Paul to want to get even, but would he stoop to murder?
Odds: 500 to 1 against
Vincent Kennedy McMahon
Yes, the chairman may have either committed suicide, or (more likely) faked his own death. Vince is not beyond this kind of theatrics to bring in ratings. According to an article on Wikipedia.org, when his daughter became pregnant, Vince actually presented the idea of an incest angle, involving either himself or Shane. Stephanie shot the idea down instantly. Vince could stretch the whole “whodunnit” angle out for months. There could be all kinds of investigations, accusations, and, maybe, even an arrest. Of course, I’m expecting Vince to show up as early as Summerslam or possibly at Survivor Series. Survivor Series would seem a bit more appropriate. I could see Bobby Lashley or Coachman being set up and carted off to jail. Vince could make his triumphant return just as the person was being set up to receive a lethal injection. I know that’s a bit sick, but we are talking Vince McMahon.
Odds: Even Money
In Conclusion:
Well, Vince is “dead” or severely injured. His attacker is unknown. There could be some great ratings as America and the world tune in to learn “Who Blew Up Vince McMahon?” It may mirror the Dallas drama of “Who Shot J.R.?” but it will pale in comparison. This is most likely just another cheap stunt by Vince to get attention…and ratings. Sad, really, isn’t it?
Thanks for reading this special edition of HeadLocker.
– Jay Shannon
Jay-Train@sbcglobal.net
(6/12/07)
Special Update: SInce this column was written, the world of wrestling was up-ended by the Chris Benoit Tragedy. The whole storyline was scrapped and Vince admitted that it was his idea.
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