The Katz Files– Arnie Katz
RAW Recap & Analysis!
The Kingfish Arnie Katz reports all the action and angles of the first WWE TV show after Royal Rumble!
RAW for January 29 opened with a video that took viewers from through the Royal Rumble match from Michael Buffer’s stirring introduction to the surprise appearance and shocking victory of John Cena.
When the program went live to Philadelphia, the first thing heard was John Cena’s theme song. The first image on the screen was John Cena marching to the ring.
The Royal Rumble winner said that he was there to answer the question that everyone was asking: How is this possible? He reminded fans of his injury last October and explained that he just couldn’t face not being part of
“I’m back! I’m the winner of the 21st annual Royal Rumble and, dammit, I’m going to WrestleMania!” Cena shouted.
The Philadelphia crowd was pretty much what is expected of the fans from that city. Most cheered and some got caught up in booing no matter what Cena said or did. Well, they do pay for tickets.
Cena asked if the crowd would prefer to have WrestleMania right there, tonight. He challenged Orton to a title match onRAW and waited for him to come out o talk.
Randy Orton walked out onto the upper stage. He told Cena that he had an answer, though maybe not one Cena would like. He said that he had been challenged by a lot of wrestlers and that he had beaten them all. Cena acknowledged that Orton has beaten a lot of challengers and was the man who put Cena himself on the shelf.
The returning hero said that Orton would take the match because Cena would never be more vulnerable. He showed the scar from the pectoral surgery and added that Orton probably didn’t believe he could be healed so fast. The alternative, Cena explained, was to give him another eight weeks to WrestleMania, where he would “whip your ass all the way to Disneyland!”
“I will never defend the title unless people open their wallets to pay to see it,” Orton declared. He then challenged Cena to a title match at No Way Out
Cena accepted the postponement grudgingly. “It’s been four months since I’ve been in this ring,” he said, “and I want some, so I’m going to get some!”
Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall d. Mickie James & Ashley
Although Mickie James and Jillian Hall started for their respective teams, the match’s main story was the continuing struggle between the Glamazon and former Women’s Champion Mickie James.
At one point, Phoenix taunted James from the apron, pretending to cry, which was a reference to Mickie’s mini-break-down on last week’s RAW
Jillian Hall did a fairly spectacular Handspring Moonsault. If she can learn to do it about three times as fast, it will become a first-rate signature move for the wannabe singer.
The match ended quite suddenly when Beth Phoenix caught Mickie James with the Fisherwoman’s Suplex and covered for the one-two-three.
Grade: C
William Regal and Mr. McMahon conferred about the problem of who should face the winner of Orton-Cena at No Way Out in the championship match at WM 24
Regal obliquely referred to an unnamed match they’d been discussing. The Boss said it was brutal, but he soon warmed up to the idea and told Regal to go announce it.
After a commercial break, William Regal told the Philadelphia fans that six wrestlers will compete for the right to main event at WrestleMania in an Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out!
The GM showed a length video hyping the Elimination Chamber and then reviewed the rules. The six are: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Umaga, Chris Jericho, Jeff Hardy and John Bradshaw Leyfield.
“Good luck gentlemen,” Regal intoned. “And may God have mercy on your souls!”
<>Carlito d Cody Rhodes
Maria and Santino Marello were at ringside for Carlito, while Hardcore Holly was in Rhodes’ corner.
As the match began, Jim Ross pointed out that Carlito had spit apple in Cody’s face during the Rumble match.
Carlito struck the first blow and soon had Rhodes under control in the corner.
But not for long. This match featured many reverses, with neither man going on an extended offensive run.
When Carlito missed a corner charge, Rhodes used a nice Roll-up to a two-count cover, but that proved to be his closest approach to victory.
Carlito pulled off a surprise Backstabber and quickly covered for the pin.
Hardcore Holly chased Marello a little, but it didn’t develop into a major skirmish.
Triple H admitted to Shawn Michaels that things hadn’t worked out at Royal Rumble the way either of them had planned. He then looked ahead to the “second chance” to get into the WrestleMania main event, which will force them to try to beat hell out of each other.
“But that’s not for three weeks and tonight I need a tag team partner,” he said.
“That will require a wardrobe change,” replied Michaels. Within seconds they were both garbed in their SX shirts and hats.
DX vs. Umaga * Snitsky
Triple H and Shawn Michaels evoked fond memories of the last century as they did their time-tested DX shtick. The best moment was when HHH accused Michael Buffer of “gimmick infringement.”
Umaga had a new face paint design.
Triple H started to lock up with Snitsky and then suddenly back away. “Does anyone have a toothbrush!” he shouted to the fans. The crowd chanted, “Brush your teeth!” at Snitsky.
The insults fired up Snitsky who had The Game penned in the corner right from the opening bell! He rocketed him into the opposite turnbuckle. Snitsky missed his corner charge, though, which enabled Triple H to score with a pulverizing Clothesline.
Michaels and Triple H used frequent tags to keep the high heat on Snitsky. Michaels went to the top, probably to deliver a Flying Elbow, but Umaga knocked him off the perch to the arena floor!
Back in the ring, Snitsky trapped Michaels in a Bearhug. HBK broke free, but ended up taking double-team pain in the corner. Again and again, the heels applied Bearhugs in an attempt to squeeze the breath out of HBK. Each time they did it, he somehow punched his way out before losing consciousness.
At one point, Umaga had HBK in the Bearhug and Shawn reached over the Samoan’s big shoulder and came within inches of making a tag to his partner. Umaga dragged him back toward the center of the ring and HBK shocked the arena with a bone-shaking DDT.
Both men stayed down a long, long tie. Finally, both men succeeded in tagging out and it was HHH versus Snitsky!
Triple H Clotheslined Snitsky. Umaga came into the ring and took several hard shots to the head and neck. When Umaga missed a corner charge, he paid for it with a hard takedown! Snitsky jumped into the fight and received a Facebuster for his trouble, but when HHH turned around, Umaga shocked him with a Samoan Drop!
Michaels paid Umaga back with Sweet Chin Music. The Illustrated Maniac went to the outside – where HBK blitzed him with an out-of-ring Cross Body Fly!
Snitsky missed his Running Boot, but Triple H took care of business with a Spinebuster! The crowd roared as Triple H lined up Snitsky for the Pedigree. Snitsky’s face hit canvas and, seconds later, his shoulders stayed down for the required three count.
Grade: B+ (slow start, but it built)
“Tonight, history is going to be made,” JBL observed to his future tag team partner, Randy Orton. The Cowboy Financier added that history would also be made at WrestleMania, where he would beat Orton after winning the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out (Arnie you sensing a theme here…)
Randy Orton replied that he hoped JBL did win, because he knew he could beat him.
Turning to the business at band, Orton told JBL to take care of Chris Jericho and he would handle Jeff Hardy.
Todd Grisham called Jeff Hardy a man who’d gotten to within a Twist of Fate of the championship before starting his interview.
Jeff characterized himself as a man at the crossroads. He said he could either be content to stay where he was or he could try again. He planned to give his all in the Elimination Chamber.
“You know you let me down,” said a sad-faced Mr. McMahon to his acknowledged Bastard Son. “You didn’t come back like a McMahon; you didn’t come back a winner.”
“I’m ashamed of you,” e scolded. “Get out of here right now.” A sorrowful and subdued Hornswoggle left his father’s office.
A video showed Ric Flair’s on-going battle to avoid enforced retirement.
Mr. Kennedy d. Brian Kendrick
Brian Kendrick slapped Mr. Kennedy at the bell, but then it was all the blond’s way as he punched, kicked and stomped the former tag team specialist into the mat in a corner.
Kendrick rolled to the outside to avoid a Kennedy charge, but his tormenter followed him. They fought viciously until Kennedy whipped Kendrick into the side of the ring. He shoved the limp victim back inside, but he couldn’t get the pin!
Kennedy wanted to work on Kendrick’s obviously injured arm, but Bryan hit two Standing Dropkicks. He went to the top, but he missed the target by a mile!
Mr. Kennedy used the mistake to position Kendrick for the Mic Check. The DDT variant did the job and Mr. Kennedy went home with another victory.
Grade: B- (short, but fast-paced)
After the match, Mr. Kennedy revealed that he’d begged William Regal to let him out of the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out! He said that he wanted to do something with more historic impact: Retire Ric Flair!
He compared the future Hall of Fame inductee to an animal that has lost its usefulness and must be put down.
Just as Kennedy finished his rant, the opening strains of Ric Flair’s music filled the arena and the Nature Boy appeared at the top of the ramp. He declared that he had only two things to say: “Good luck!” and “Woooooo!” He did a little Flair Strut and left.
Maria (with Santino Marello) d. Melina
After a seesaw fight in which Maria showed she has learned a few more moves, Maria missed a charge into the corner and Melina socked her in the back. Melina wanted to use a Sunset Flip, but Maria held onto the ropes to prevent it. Thinking quickly, Maria sat down, which pinned Melina’s shoulders to the mat for the victory.
Grade: D (It takes two to make a match)
In the process of the abortive Sunset Flip, Melina pulled down Maria’s tights. As soon as the match ended, Marello hopped into the ring and put his jacket around her wais.
It should be noted that, though Maria’s pants were down below her hips, she was fully covered by her panties.
Marello said he wanted to turn over the Liberty Bell and puke in it, because of his disgust with the way fans leer at Maria. “She will never appear in Playboy,” he promised. Presumably the announcement will e on next week’s RAW
Todd Grisham said that fans saw “a new Jericho” at Royal Rumble.
Jericho acknowledged that a new Jericho had emerged during his fight with JBL. He said that he liked the new Jericho and that the New Jericho wanted to spend some more time with JBL!
Chris Jericho predicted that he would get more revenge against JBL in the Elimination Chamber and win the spot in the main event. “JBL is going to Disneyworld; I’m going to WrestleMania!”
JBL & Randy Orton d. Chris Jericho & Jeff Hardy
Orton and Jericho, who could not take their eyes off each other, started for their respective teams. Jericho seized a Side Headlock. Randy broke free, hit the ropes and Leapfrogged on the rebound. He banged the ropes a second time, but Jericho nailed him with Knife-Edged Chops and a Running Forearm Smash!
Chris Jericho scored with a Suplex and then took Orton to a corner for some intense punishment. Orton reversed a whip and when Jericho tried to come back with a drop kick, the champion stepped out of the way!
Jericho sent JBL tumbling into the ringside, while Jeff Hardy blasted Randy Orton with the Swanton Bomb in the ring! The Rainbow Warrior covered, but the referee was woefully out of position and didn’t start the count until well after it should’ve already ended. JBL pulled his partner out from under Hardy to save the match for his team.
Back from commercial, Randy Orton stomped Jeff Hardy into the canvas. Orton let Hardy regain his footing, which resulted in Hardy connecting with a Forearm Smash after Orton blew a Clothesline. Orton kicked out when Hardy covered.
JBL decked Hardy with one of his roundhouse punches and then did it again with a Shoulder Block! His Elbow Drop Missed, but Hardy’s punch didn’t – and the Millionaire Mauler hit the mat. Jeff quickly hit a Legdrop, but it still didn’t lead to a pin.
Jeff Hardy banged into the ropes, but KBL interfered with him so that he couldn’t pick up any speed. No sooner did he head back toward Randy Orton than the second-generation star got in a devastating punch.
Randy Orton poured on the pain, including a kick to Hardy’s head that probably didn’t improve his alertness. Randy rode him on the mat, stifling breathing and eating away at Hardy’s strength. JBL took over against Hardy and pushed him into the heel corner for some double-teaming.
Jericho and JBL tagged into the match about the same time, but wrestling’s top rocker struck first and soon had the Texas Turncoat in the Walls of Jericho! The referee’s attention was elsewhere, so he didn’t see Randy Orton sail across the ring and wipe out Chris Jericho with an RKO! JBL covered and the official counted his team’s victory.
Grade: A-
After the match, John Cena ran to the ring. JBL bailed, leaving Randy Orton to suffer the FU!
Overall Grade for this show: B (Good tag matches)
– The Kingfish Arnie Katz
Crossfire4@cox.net
(1/31/08)
This is column number 154 in a row as I return to my role as a daily columnist. And there’s not one single “We got” in the whole article!
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