Royal Rumble (1/27): Complete Recap!

Our resident ring philosopher Jay Shannon turns Action Reporter will a fast-hitting recap of the Royal Rumble!

Ric Flair d. MVP
Maria comes out to do the Kiss Cam. Ashley comes out and tells Maria that Hugh Hefner is interesting in having Maria pose for Playboy. Oh, Yeah!. Santino comes out with someone under a black tarp. Santino tells Ashley that Maria can not pose. He says that no one wants to see Maria naked (wanna bet?). Santino insults just about everyone, including the Giants. The crowd is ready to rip Santino’s head off. Santino starts to leave as the crowd chants “Let’s go, Giants!”. Ashley stops Maria and Santino from leaving. She asks Maria if she’s interesting. Maria asks the crowd if they want to see her pose. Raises hand to request Maria poses. Santino brings his friend to the ring. Oh dear God it’s Big Dick Johnson in New England Patriots colors. Ashley slaps Johnson, who falls out of the ring and flounders on the arena floor. Too funny,
The show kicked off with Ric Flair talking with the crowd. MVP interrupted the heart-felt speech and the match got rolling. Ric looks better tonight than he has in a long time. He went for the knees of MVP, early on. The crowd Oohed and Aahed a lot in this one. The WOOOOs rocked the rafters of the Garden. “Lil Naitch” Charles Robinson actually counted 3 against Flair, but waived it off when he noticed Flair’s leg on the bottom rope. Flair got several near falls, including a Back Slide (the move that cost him the NWA in May, 1984 against Kerry Von Erich). MVP went for the Play Maker, but Flair turned it around and locked in the Figure Four Leglock.

YOUR WINNER: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair

JBL d.Chris Jericho

The current problems between JBL and Chris Jericho started at Armageddon when JBL cost Jericho the Raw. Jericho is all business as he comes to the ring. He doesn’t play up to the crowd, like he normally would. The Jericho in the ring is more like his Lionheart persona, instead of his Y2J gimmick. JBL walked to the ring, not using his limo tonight. A long sstaredown started this one. Jericho is chomping at the bit to rip the big Texan a new one. JBL uses the ropes quite a bit in the early moments to throw Jericho off his game. Jericho leaves the technical moves in the locker room for the most part, as Jericho just stomps and punches the daylights out of JBL. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but JBL was too close to the ropes. The action goes to the floor where JBL ended up tossed into the steel steps. JBL attacks the neck of Jericho. JBL hits a modified Clothesline From Hell on Jericho. JBL sends the throat of Jericho up into the ropes by way of a Slingshot. JBL locks in a Sleeper on Jericho. The crowd boos as the match slows down. There are a smattering of “Boring!” chants from this rabid New York crowd. Jericho gets loose and hits his own Hellish clothesline. JBL nails a monster boot to the face of Jericho. Jericho is sent into the ring post. Jericho’s head is busted open on the side, not a normal place to bleed from. JBl goes to the floor to retrieve Jericho. JBL focuses on the bloody head of Jericho. The ref calls off JBL to check on Jericho, but Jericho explodes oout of the corner. Jericho botches a Bulldog and the crowd calls him on it. Jericho hits the Lionsault Jericho hits a Cactus Clothesline to send himself and JBL to the arena floor. Jericho grabs a chair and blasts JBL in the skull. The ref calls for the bell

YOUR WINNER (By DQ): JBL

After the match, Jericho attacks again with the chair. and a steel TV cable. Jericho chokes out JBL. The ref is helpless to stop Jericho. Jericho “hangs” JBL over the ropes as the crowd chanted “Y2J”.

Edge d. Rey Mysterio

We take a look at the events that led up to our next match, Rey Mysterio vs. Edge. The Royal Rumble has always been good for Rey, but will his good luck continue tonight? We’ll see…next.

Edge comes out first, by himself, to the boos of the crowd. Edge doesn’t get nearly the heat that I think he expected to get. Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long come to ringside. The Edgeheads, Ryder and Hawkins, follow closely behind Vickie and Teddy. Edge has truly stacked the deck in this one. Rey’s entrance gets a less than stellar response. Rey is wearing something that looks like it was lifted from Shark Boy’s closet. Rey is actually booed when introduced. Edge gets more cheers than Rey. Bizarre.

Edge shoves Rey to start this one. The crowd starts a “Let’s go Edge” chant. Ok, the Royal Rumble is now being broadcast from The Twilight Zone. Edge uses his power to knock down Rey, but Rey leg trips Edge. Edge pounds on Rey and then chokes him on the ropes. Rey is sent to the outside, and then hit with an Edge baseball slide. The Edgeheads go to attack Rey, but the ref catches them. The Edgeheads are ejected from the arena. Rey gets back in the ring and almost hits the 619, but Edge slips out of the ring. Rey hits a Suicide Dive on Edge. Rey Drops the Dime on Edge. Edge attacks the surgically repaired knee of Rey. Rey hts the floor, but Edge goes oout, attacks and slides Rey back in. Vickie is all smiles as Edge works on the knee. Edge poses for the crowd, and, for the first time, is booed. Edge locks in a Single Leg Boston Crab. Rey kicks free. Rey is limiping, badly, but still manages to hit the Enziguri. Rey goes for the 619 again, but Edge catches Rey in a Powerslam. Edge locks in the AnkleLock that is often used by Kurt Angle. Edge continues to focus on the leg. Rey can’t stand. Edge tries to expose the knee of Rey, but Rey nails a Bulldog. Rey chops away at Edge. Rey rolls through a Sunset Flip and uses his good leg to kick Edge. Rey goes to the top rope, but gets caught. Rey fights off Edge and hits the Warrior’s Way. 2 count. Rey uses a Hurancanrana to send Edge to the outside. Rey flies out of the ring by way of a Belly Baseball Slide. Rey slides Edge back in the ring and almost pins him. Edge stops Rey’s momentum with a big boot. Edge misses the Spear. Edge falls into the ropes. 619. Vickie Guerrero gets out of her chair and pulls the ref out of the ring. Rey goes for another 619 but Vickie protects Edge. She takes the full shot. Rey goes to Drop the Dime, but Edge nails a Spear on Rey as he comes off the ropes. 1-2-3.

YOUR WINNER: Edge

Maria comes out to do the Kiss Cam. Ashley comes out and tells Maria that Hugh Hefner is interesting in having Maria pose for Playboy. Oh, Yeah!. Santino comes out with someone under a black tarp. Santino tells Ashley that Maria can not pose. He says that no one wants to see Maria naked (wanna bet?). Santino insults just about everyone, including the Giants. The crowd is ready to rip Santino’s head off. Santino starts to leave as the crowd chants “Let’s go, Giants!”. Ashley stops Maria and Santino from leaving. She asks Maria if she’s interesting. Maria asks the crowd if they want to see her pose. Raises hand to request Maria poses. Santino brings his friend to the ring. Oh dear God it’s Big Dick Johnson in New England Patriots colors. Ashley slaps Johnson, who falls out of the ring and flounders on the arena floor. Too funny,

We take a look at the life of Randy Orton. These are the same video clips that we’ve seen for the past few weeks. I love history lessons like this. I’m finally starting to warm up to Orton. Following the look at Orton, we see the highlights of Jeff Hardy’s career.hardy’s come back from some poor choices in his life to become a great superstar. He may not win the title, tonight, but he will wear the top gold at some point.

The crowd pops huge for Jeff Hardy. He looks ready to wear the WWE title. Randy stalks the ring. Randy has shaved his head. The crowd gives Randy a lukewarm round of boos. Lillian Garcia, looking beautiful, as always, introduces Hardy and Orton. Mike Chioda is the ref for this one.

Randy Orton d. Jeff Hardy

The two men locks eyes as the ref calls for the bell. Collar and elbow with both men dancing around the ropes. The ref has to break them apart. Hardy shoves Orton. Hardy drops Orton with a shoulder and then flips Orton to the mat. Orton locks in a head scissors on Hardy. Inverted Atomic Drop by Hardy. Hardy drops the double legs to the abdomen of Orton. Orton rebounds and beats down on Hardy, talking ttash to the New Yorkers. Hardy sends Orton to the outside, and Hardy hits a Baseball Slide. Orton hit the retaining wall, awkwardly. He may be injured. Jeff flies over the ropes onto Orton. Orton is in massive pain. Orton grabs his title belt and starts to leave, but Hardy stops him and attacks on the floor. Hardy rolls Orton back in the ring. Hardy goes to leap over the roeps to re-enter the ring, but Orton catches Hardy, on the fly, with a big Dropkick to the chest. Hardy hits the floor with a thud. Orton goes out and attacks. Suplex on the floor by Orton. Orton rolls Hardy back in the ring and goes for the pin. Hardy kicks out. Orton breaks out the Orton (Garvin) Stomp. Orton drops a knee across the skull of Hardy. Hrdy finally fights back and sends Orton to the concrete. Hardy leaps off the apron onto Orton. Both men are down. The ref starts to count. Haryd rolls Orton back in the ring and goes for the pin. 2 only. Hardy puts Orton in the corner and goes to hit a flying shoulder, but Orton moves and Hardy crashes and burns with a shoulder into the steel. Orton clamps on a BodyLock on Hardy. This move is almost like an inverted STF. Hardy fights loose and goes to the ropes, only to fall victim to a Powerslam. Orton goes back to the neck of Hardy. The crowd finally wakes up and claps for Hardy. I’m amazed at how dead the crowd is. Hardy hits a Falling Clothesline on Orton. the two men trade blows. Hardy quickens the pace. Hardy nails the Whisper in the Wind for a 2 and 99/100 count. Hardy hits the revers kick and a corner Suspension Dropkick. Orton goes to the ring apron for protection, but Hardy hits Orton and sends him to the floor. Hardy then hits a Moonsault from the top turnbuckleonto Orton, on the floor! Both men are down. Hardy picks up Hardy and rolls Orton in. Hardy gets the crowd to explode for him. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Orton reverses it and nails the RKO out of nowhere.

YOUR WINNER: Randy Orton

The Royal Rumble Match

Joey Styles and Tazz finally get some airtime as they lead into the Royal Rumble numbers promo. There are still several spots not filled for the Royal Rumble. Expect some surprise, including the possible appearance of Ron Killings, Mike Kruel and several others from the Developmental Territories. Michael Buffer is introduced to kick off the Royal Rumble. He runs down the rules. The snores of the crowd are deafening. Buffer tries to do the Triple H–Are you Ready? promo. Ok, I know Buffer did it first, but Trip does it so much better.

Entrant Number 1—The Undertaker
Entrant Number 2—Shawn Michaels

The crowd is alive, well and rocking for this match. These were the two men that finished the Royal Rumble, last year. ‘Taker has a cold stare for this one. ‘Taker goes for boxing matches. Shawn chops at’Taker. Shawn is sent to the corner and caught in the Thunderlips Elevated Choke. Shawn is almost sent out. ‘Taker misses a move and almost endsup eliminnated. Taker steps over the topes and fights on.

Entrant Number 3—Santino Marella

Superkick by Shawn. Taker tosses Santino within seconds

Santino is Eliminated!

Undertaker tries for Old School but Shawn sends ‘Taker tumbling from the ropes. Shaws chops away at ‘Taker as the timer counts down.

Entrant Number 4—The Great Khali

‘Taker goes right after Khali. Khali chops the skull of ‘Taker. Khali beats down on ‘Taker in the corner. ‘Taker beats on Khali but Khali grabs a choke. ‘Taker counters the choke. ‘Taker hoists Khali over the ropes

Khali is eliminated

Entrant Number 5—Hardcore Holly
Holly is decimated by Undertaker. Shawn is down in the corner. ‘Taker hits some hard gists. ‘Taker reverses a whip and boots Holly. Shawn sneak sup and tries to eliminate’Taker, but ‘Taker reverses it and nearly sends Shawn to the showers.

Entrant Number 6—John Morrison
Morrison freaks when he sees Undertaker. ‘Taker and Shawn double team John and nearly eliminate him. Shawn hits a big slam on John. Shawn goes to the top rope and hits the Savage Elbow. The timer counts down.

Entrant Number 7—Tommy Dreamer
The crowd loves Dreamer. Dreamer taker the fight to everyone, but ‘Taker stops him cold. Morrison is on the apron, but he escapes elimination. Dreamer is trying to take out ‘Taker. John Morrison tries to sends Holly out, but fails. Time for someone new

Entrant Number 8—Batista
Batista just cleans house. He faces off with Undertaker. Tommy tries to attack Batista, but ends up on the floor

Tommy Dreamer is eliminated

Batista spears Morrison, but ends up on the wrong end of a big boot by Undertaker.

Entrant Number 9—Hornswoggle
Hornswoggle slides under the rings. Batista spears the Undertaker. I have such a bad feeling that Hornswoggle will end up winning this. That would so tick me off. SuplexBack Body Drops Shawn.

Entrant Number 10—Chuck Palumbo
Chuck blasts everyone in sight. Shawn and Chuck square off. ‘Taker beats on Chuck. Morriosn almost eliminated, but hangs on. Hawn is trying to send Morrison to the floor.

Entrant Number 11—Jamie Noble
Noble goes right after Chuck. Palumbo sends Noble over the ropes and onto the apron. A big kick sends Noble to the floor.

Jamie Noble is eliminated, and hurt

Entrant Number 12—C.M. Punk
Punk hit Elevator Knees in every single corner. Shawn is almost eliminated. Punk is dropped by a ‘Taker Clothesline. Palumbo is sent over the ropes. An Elevator Knee by punk elimates Palumbo.

Chuck Palumbo is eliminated

Entrant Number 13—Cody Rhodes
Rhodes attacks undertaker, who doesn’t move. Cody hits a Dropkick on ‘Taker.

Entrant Number 14—Umaga
The big Samoan just takes out everyone. Holly chops Umaga, but the Samoan Spike sends Holly flying over the ropes.

Hardcore Holly is eliminated

Shawn is almost eliminated but manages to hang on.

Entrant Number 15—Snitsky
Cody takes on Snitsky. Morrison is trying to send Shawn to the floor.

Entrant Number 16—The Miz
Miz goes right after Punk. Morrison jins his tag partner to try and eliminate Punk. “Taker squares off with Umaga.

Entrant Number 17—Shelton Benjamin
Benjamin uses a lot of fancy moves, but ends up on the floor, in near record time, thanks to some Sweet Chin Music

Shelton Benjamin is eliminated.

Entrant Number 18—Superfly Jimmy Snuka?
The crowd goes wild when Snuka is introduced. Snuka Headbutts both Undertaker and Snitsky. The announcers are in stitches.

Entrant Number 19—Hot Rod RODDY PIPER

Piper is ready for a fight. Man, he’s gotten chunky. Snuka and Piper square off as everyone else looks on.

Entrant Number 20—Kane
hornswoggle is still napping under the ring. Kane sends both Piper and Snuka, right away.

Roddy Piper is eliminated
Jimmy Snuka is eliminated

‘Taker chokeslams Shawn

Entrant Number 21—Carlito
Carlito is almost eliminated, but manages to nail a Backstabber on Punk.

Entrant Number 22—Mick Foley
Here’s your biggest pop of the night. Kane and Morrison instantly attack Foley. Foley attacks Morrison. Morrison hits a spinning kick off the ropes on Foley. Umaga stomps awayon everyone in sight.

Entrant Number 23—Mr. Kennedy
Kennedy goes after Cody Rhodes. kennedy hits the Mike Check on Miz. Kennedy attacks ‘Taker. ‘Taker grabs the throat of Kennedy and Chokeslams him. ‘Taker starts kicking everyone in sight.

Entrant Number 24—Big Daddy V
Snitsky is eliminate
Undertaker is eliminated (by Michaels)
Shawn Michaels is eliminated (by Kennedy)
Snitsky is eliminated

Entrant Number 25—Mark Henry
Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring to help eliminate the Miz. Hornswoggle slips back under the ring.

The Miz is eliminated

Entrant Number 26—Chavo Guerrero
Punk takes the fight to Punk. Kane kicks Morrison off the apron.

John Morrison is eliminated

Hornswoggle finally gets in the ring. Henry and Big Daddy V go to attack Hornswoggle, but Finley runs out and protects the diminutive McMahon.

Finley is eliminated by DQ for using the shilelah

Entrant Nubmer 27 (The Lucky Spot)–Elijah Burke
The ring is full of people. Chavo tries to send Punk out, and does.

C.M. Punk is eliminated

Entrant Number 28–Triple H
Triple storms the ring and takes the fihgt to everyone.

Cody Rhodes is eliminated (by Triple H)
Big Daddy V is eliminated (by Triple H)
Mick Foley is eliminated
Elijah Burke is eliminated

umaga misses a run in the corner. Triple H hits the Pedigree on Umaga.
Rntrant Number 29—Finlay was already eliminated.

Entrant Number 30—John Cena!
Triple H is stunned. Cena takes the battle to Mark Henry. Cena is claning house.

Carlito is eliminated (by Cena)
Chavo is eliminated (by Cena)
Mark Henry is eliminated(by Cena)

Triple H and Cena square off. Batista hits a Spear on Umaga.

Kennedy is eliminated
Umaga is eliminated
Kane is eliminated

We are down to the final 3 (Hornswoggle was taken out of the arena by Finley).

The battle is brutal and fast-paced. Batista attacks both Triple H and Cena. Batista is double teamed, but fights back to take out both men. Cena is on the wrong end of Spinebuster. Triple H tries for a Pedigree but Batista reversese it into a Spinebuster. Triple H cataches Batista off-guard and sends Batista to the floor.

Batista is eliminated

Triple H kicks the ribs of ena and then pounds away. Cena fights back. The crowd cheers for Tip and boos Cena. The sing song boo/cheer is deafening. Cena hits the Winding Rock slam. Cena hist the 5 Knuckle Shuggle on Triple H. Cena is almost hit with the Pedigree but Cena gets free. Double Clotheslines take down both men. Triple H charges Cena, but gets booted. Cena goes for the FU, but Triple H reverses it into a DDT. Trip almost has Cena over the ropes, but Cena holds on. Cena gets Triple H up and FU’s Triple H to the floor.

YOUR WINNER OF THE 2008 ROYAL RUMBLE: John Cena

–Jay Shannon
Boxworld@Sbcglobal.net
(1/27/08)

January 27, 2008 | Filed Under All the News, Recaps