iMPACT (1/24) Recap: Jow Strikes!
The Kingfish Arnie Katz has a full report on the TV show, laced with plenty of commentary.
The opening video showed how much happened on last week’s episode, giving time to a variety of storylines including Sharkboy’s metamorphosis, ODB’s challenge to Awesome Kong, the Angle-Cage feud and the proverbial “much, much more.”
The show had barely started, but Jim Cornette was already apoplectic, raving about how he’d taken “heat from corporate” about last week’s show. While it’s more interesting to have the General Manager battles Nameless Authority, most fans heard the announcers say that last week’s iMPACT was the most-watched episode of all time. How likely is it that management would be unhappy about that?
The alleged reason for the corporate displeasure was the erroneous disqualification of Samoa Joe in the main event. You can see why it would be such a scandal; a ref has never missed a call before… right?
That aside, Cornette howled that if they were going to fire him, he wanted to go out big. He announced that Jay Letha; and Johnny Devine would go at it for the X Division title in a street fight and that Tomko and AJ Styles would face off against the Motor City Machineguns.
Team 3D protested the tag title match. Brother Ray demanded to know if Cornette had hurt his head falling off the scaffold. Cornette made it into a three-way tag title match.
“Me and my brother love threeways,” said Brother Ray.
“Jim Cornette you screwed up,” Kevin Nash accused from center-ring. “Last week it was obvious to everyone that Samoa Joe got screwed.” Big Kev explained that there’s an easy way and a hard way to do things. The easy way, he said, would be for Jim Cornette to come to the ring, admit his mistake and make things right.
Instead, out came Matt Morgan, who told Nash that, “It’s not the ‘90’s any more.” Morgan elaborated on this theme, casting Kevin Nash in the role of has-been.
When Matt Morgan told him to leave the ring, Nash grabbed him and called him a punk! As Nash turned to go, Morgan sucker punched him. That brought in Samoa Joe, whop mopped the ring with Cornette’s assistant.
Joe said that Kevin had begged Cornette to do it the easy way, but that now he and Kevin would have to do it the hard way. “I guarantee that, after tonight, you will never forget the name ‘Samoa Joe’.”
The camera switched to Jeremy Borash in the Angle Alliance locker room. He began an enthusiastic rundown of the show, until Kurt Angles demanded to know what he was doing. Borash deadpanned that Angle had previously told him that he isn’t part of the Angle Alliance.
This passive-aggressive strategy seemed to work with Kurt to a certain extent and he moved on to the night’s business. He told AJ Styles to go find Tomko so Kurt could have a talk with him about his affiliation.
AJ wasn’t too keen on the idea, until Karen Angle told him that if he did something for her, she would do something for him. Whatever she whispered had the proper motivational effect and The Prince of Phenomenal headed off to find his partner.
Christian Cage seemed pretty confident, when asked by Crystal, that he would win the ”Wrester of the Year” award as voted by the fans.
Turning his attention to the Tomko situation, Cage said that he thought Tomko should be left free to make an affiliation, if he wants to do so.
Robert Roode (with Peyton Banks) & James Storm (with Jackie Moore) d. Eric Young and Sonjay Dutt
Peyton Banks, the stalker turned valet, has dyed her hair darker to look more like Miss Brooks.
Those long-time antagonists, Robert Roode and Eric Young, started the match for their respective teams. It was obvious from the opening bell that Roode was in no mood to fool around; he went right at Young and put the blond on the defensive. Showtime finally cut off the run with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex
Eric went to the top turnbuckle. But Roode went right up after him! Young threw him down to the mat, but James Storm toppled Young from behind!
The Tennessee Cowboy took over against Young. He connected with w Knee Drop and almost scored a quick pin. Roode tried to pick up where his partner stopped, but Eric Young reversed an Irish Whip and then avoided Roode’s charge into the corner!
Sonjay Dutt finally got a tag and cleaned house. He tossed James Storm out of the ring and then felled Roode with a Leg Lariat and then a Moonsault, but he couldn’t make the cover stick.
James Storm and Eric Young started to punch each other the minute they replaced their partners. They reached a Collar-and-Elbow stalemate.
Sonjay Dutt came off the top with a high risk move that turned out to be a bit too much of a risk. He missed – and ended up on the wrong end of Roode’s Ray-off. The fiendish financier quickly scored the one-two-three.
Grade: B-
Tracy Brooks crashed the post-match celebration and beat holy hell out of Peyton Banks. This was a tease for their forthcoming pay per view match. (There’ll be two women’s matches at Against All Odds, if current plans are implemented, a genuine rarity in this era.
Few performers have been hurt by TNA’s inconsistent booking as much as Eric Young. TNA has put him into demeaning situations and even put him in matches as a heel, when it’s obvious that fans want Eric to develop into a strong babyface.
Booker T has returned to the iMPACT zone! Crystal tried to get a comment, but the grim-faced Booker didn’t want to talk.
The X Division Wrestler of the Year is… Black Machismo!
He came to the ring and, more in his Jay Lethal persona, promised he would do everything he could to Johnny Devine. “For the first time I can say that I’m mad as hell and I am not going to take it!”
Crystal, already having a bad night, tried to interview Black Reign. As he began threatening her, Kaz attacked, laid him out on the floor and left with his pick.
A video reviewed the recent history of Sharkboy’s self-destructiveness.
Sharkboy d. Elix skipper
Sharkboy’s new entrance, and his leather vest, may possibly remind a few fans of Stone Cold Steve Austin. I didn’t think you could channel someone until they are dead.
Sharkboy jumped on Skipper at the bell and pummeled him into the canvas! Elix Skipper managed to get in a Snap Mare and then a low-altitude kick, but Sharkboy seemed to shrug off the blows. Within seconds, it was again kicking Skipper repeatedly, trapping him in the corner.
Prime-Time hit a Belly-to-Belly Suplex, but he Cross Body Press from the top turnbuckle hit nothing but mat.
Sharkboy double over his opponent with a kick to the stomach and then brought him low with the Sharkboy Stunner! The follow-up pin was inevitable.
Grade: C+ (a little short)
“What you’ve just witnessed is the birth of a new and improved Sharkboy!” he told fans. He quickly got them going “What>” after every pause, just the way they do for Austin. “Sharkboy 24/7 says I just bit your ass!”
“And that’s the bottom line, because Sharkboy said so!”
Maybe next week: Judas Macias will be re-introduced as Battista.
They threw him bottled water and he splashed it on himself.
The Knockout of the Year is Gail Kim.
She referred to a concussion received in her last match against Awesome Kong as she thanked everyone for the award. No sooner had she mentioned that when the ominous theme music hit and the Women’s Champion rumbled down the ramp to the ring!
Gail met fire with fury of her own and soon was bashing Kong in the corner. A combination of the champ’s size and power and Kim’s own weakened condition soon led to a reversal – and a beatdown for the newly honored Knockout!
ODB hit the ring to save Gail Kim. She absorbed some punishment at first, but ODB was soon giving as good as sge got. Awesome Kong connected with a Clothesline and wanted to add a Sit-out Powerbomb, but ODB showed surprising acrobatic skill in evading the maneuver.
ODB booted Kong through the ropes and took a celebratory drink from her flash.
Kurt Angle, accompanied by his wife and the Prince, tried to talk Tomko into siding with them. Kurt said that Tomko could have all the perk that Styles had. When Tomko asked him what they might be, Angle rattled off a list that included his wife Karen!
“You know what, Kurt, I’m a married man with a wife and a kid,” Tomko responded. “ I get all my inspiration from them, but thanks anyway.”
“This is Karen Angle,” said Kurt, “not some girl you picked up in a strip club.”
That was the detonator that set off Tomko, who attacked Angle immediately over this insult to his family.
Back from commercia, an enraged Tomko was beating up Angle all over th ebuilding! They fought to the ring. They fought until the security force swarmed in to stop the carnage.
“That’s it!” Kurt Angle screamed from the ramp. “Next week, it’s you and me!”
Tomko jumped out of the ring and caught the TNA champion before he could get all the way up the ramp and out of the arena!
Before his title match, Johnny Divine told Crystal that tonight he would do the talking, not his brothers. He promised to beat Jay Lethal.
Team 3D did crash the interview and agains claimed that making weight would be no problem if that becomes a factor.
Johnny Devine d. Black Machismo Jay Lethal
X Division Championship
Street Fight
Johnny Devine came in with the belt, because he and his buddioes had stolen it some time back, but Lethal is still the actual champ.
Kay Lethal didn’t even wait for his opponent to reach the ring. He came out to meet Johnny Devine and beat the challenger bloody as they grappled in the ringside area. Black Machismo crowned Devine with a chaur that he wore like an over-sized necklace!
When Johnny Devine blew his move, Jay Lethal made him pay with a DDT onto the chair!
Back from commercial, the first thing fans saw was Jay Lethal clouting Devine on the top of his bloody head with the chair. Lethal clonked Devine with the trashcan and Hiplocked him to the mat.
Jay Lethal beat Johnny Devine with a kendo stick and then Face Planted him! Back Machismo vaulted to the top turnbuckle. He saw Team 3D out of the corner of his eye and took them by total surprise with an out-of-ring Cross Body Fly!
Johnny Devine missed his chair shot, but the champion’s was right on target. The only thing that prevented a pin was that Team 3D yanked the referee out of the ring!
Jay Lethal went to the top turnbuckle, but Brother Ray swatted him out of the air with the kendo stick!
Ray dumped the lifeless Devine on top of Lethal, the referee got back into the ring and counted the victory for Johnny Devione, the new X Division Champion.
Grade: B
Samoa Joe hit the ring and Team 3D left Johnny Devine alone to fend for himself. Joe quickly applied the Rear Naked Choke!
“I hide behind this mask every day of my life, because I am ashamed of the blood that runs through my body,” Abyss told Mike Tenay. He added that Mitchell had abused both him and his mother for many years.
In response to the Professor’s question, Abyss revealed that he will meet Mitchell and Judas Maceas in a Barb Wire Massacre match at Against All Odds.
Jeremy Borash introduced Kendall Gill, former basketball player, who is scheduled to appear on Spike RV’s Pros vs. Joes, along with Kurt Angle, later tonight.
Gill announced the winner for Most Memorable Moment of the Year, which turned out to be the arrival of Booker T in TNA.
Booker T was humble as he accepted the award, He said he didn’t know when he would be back in the ring, because Sharmell is his greatest concern at this time.
Robert Roode tried to spoil the moment. He suddenly appeare on the big screen to castigate Booker for allowed Sharmell to participate in the mixed tag match inthe first place. He blamed Booker for his wife’s accident.
Crystal interviewed BG James and his dad Bullet Bob Armstrong about the title match they’ll fight against the winner of the three-way match on this installment of iMPACT at Against All Odds
BG had an unexpected (and uncharacteristic) attack of prudishness and draped a tee-shirt over the top half of Crystal’s body. Bullet Bob, with the wisdom that comes with experience, sai, “I’m old, not dead,” and tossed away the shirt!
Bullet Bob told his son that the next three weeks will be like a boot camp and added a “Semper Fi” for any Marines in earshot.
Christy Hemme led Lance Hoyt and Johnny Rave to the ring, where she introduced the Rock n Rave Infection with a fervor usually reversed for bringing rock bands on stage. (Both men came to the ring with guitars, but they were evidently just symbolic.)
“We love oyu Cleveland!” Kabce Hoyt yelled.
Lance Joyt & Jimmy Rave (with Christy Hemme) d. Tiger Mask & Curryman
Curryman is a red-suited masked man with what looks like a disk of curry affixed to the top of the mask.
Tiger Mask opened with a couple of kicks, but Hoyt Clotheslined him to the mat. Tiger Mask leapfrogged Hoyt and Monkey-Flipped the larger man when he rebounded from the ropes.
The masked men double-teamed Joyt and then tried to do the same to Jmmy Rave after a tag. Curryman wilted a little under Lance Hoyt’s assault, but he showed great resilience in coming back with an attack of his own. Hoyt choked Curryman with a boot across the windpipe while Rave added more punishment. Rave scored with a knee to the gut and a Low-Altitude Dropkick, but it didn’t translate into a pin.
Lance Hoyt threw Curryman from the corner to corner. When he charged the man in red, however, he took a Back Elbow for his trouble. Tiger Mask connected with a Backbreaker on Jimmy Rave, but his try for the pin failed.
Tiger Mask followed Jimmy Race to the top turnbuckle – and brought him down with a Double-Underhook Suplex! Rave fought off the Tiger Suplex, but he took an Inverted Bicycle Kick to the head!
When Tiger Mask went to the top again, Hoyt brushed him off! Tiger Mask tried to destroy Joyt with an out-of-ring Fly, but the intended victim could him and crashed him to the arena floor!
Curryman Face Planted Rave. He would’ve had the pin and the win, if Hoyt hadn’t saved his teammate.
Curryman and Tiger Mask each mounted a turnbuckle. Curryman leveled Lance Hoyt with an out-of-ring Cross Bopdy Fly! Tiger Mask then destroyed Rave with a Flying Headbutt and claimed the victory.
Grade: B+
Jeremy Borash announced that the 2008 MVP is Samoa Joe!
Samoa Joe asked JB why he hasn’t gotten a championship shot. Borash pointed out that Joe had fought for the title at the PPV before last – and lost!
“That’s the right answer,” Samoa Joe growled, “but tonight it’s the wrong answer!” He then knocked down the amiable announcer.
“You’ve got to stop,” shouted Jim Cornette as he entered the ring. “You’ll kill him!”
“This stops when I say it stops!” Joe screamed.
Kevin Nash came in and stopped Joe from doing further harm to Borash or taking out his frustrations on Cornette.
Cornette explained, very sensibly, that bad calls happen in every sport and it’s necessary to move forward. He said that Samoa Joe would get a title match at Destination X ad that he would serve as the Enforcer for the main event at Against All Odds.
That still wasn’t enough for Samoa Joe. He demanded that Cornette sign hi to a five-year contrast that guarantees his salary is always 15% greater than Kurt Angle’s.
The crowd’s cheers inspired Joe to ask for a quick answer. After some thought, Cornette said that Samoa Joe can have his answer on next week’s iMPACT.
Styles and Tomko had a run-in backstage, with Crystal standing by to see the friends and co-tag team champions get in each other’s faces.
Styles wanted to play peacemaker between Tomko and Angle, but the big man wanted no part of that. He even warned Styles that he was close to being in trouble with him.
Tomko & AJ Styles d. Team 3D and The Motor City Machinefuns
World Tag Team Championship
Three-way Match
Only two wrestlers fought at a time, though there was a rule that prevented two members of the same team from being in the ring simultaneously. The team that scored the pin took the title. Particularly in a match like this, where all three teams are mutually antagonistic, it would make for a more interesting match if one man from each team was in the ring at all times and each man in the ring could only escape by tagging his teammate.
Chris Sabin’s Armdrag cut short Brother Ray’s opening-of-the-match run. Sabin worked on him some more with a Wristlock, but Brother Ray pushed him back into a corner to get some help from Brother Devon.
Ray whipped him into the opposite turnbuckle, but took a Sabin kick on the rebound! Ray ignored the blow and slammed Sabin to the mat with a modified Chokeslam.
The Prince of Phenomenal tagged himself into the match and immediately went to work on Chris Sabin with punches, kicks and s Rear Chinlock before decking him with a knee. Sabin got some momentum by jumping on a rope and came zooming off with a Huracanrana that floored Styles.
Sabin dragged Tomko out to the ringside area, but took a Missile Dropkick from Styles! AJ then uncorked an out-of-ring Cross Body Fly that blasted both members of Team 3D!
Brother Ray was on the way back into the ring when Karen Angle distracted him. Their kissing brought AJ Styles out of the ring to help her – she looked like she was doing all right on her own – but Chris Sabin blasted AJ with an out-of-ring Cross Body Fly of his own!
AJ tagged himself out of the match to go look to Karen Angle, who had gotten hit by the Cross Body. Tomko looked on in disgust as Styles swept up Karen in his arms and took her out of the arena!
The brothers hit the #D on Tomko just as the show went to commercial.
When it returned, Devon and Tomko were slugging it out at center-ring. Devon knocked him down with a knee and then mounted the top turnbuckle. He flew off with an attempting Diving Headbutt, but Tomko cleared out in plenty of time.
Tomko got up first, backed Devon into the corner and rained down punches. Brother Ray came up behind the struggling pair and took Tomko on his shoulders. Devon splattered Tomko with a Flying Clothesline! He came within one count of a victory.
The Motor City Machineguns swung into action, trapping Ray and Devon in opposite corners. They double-kicked Devon and then threw him out of the ring.
Shelly knocked down Brother Ray, but it was Tomko who came through the chaos to make the cover and claim the victory.
Grade: B+
AJ Styles returned to ringside just in time to get popped by Tomko for running out on him. Christian Cage watched the break-up with a satisfied smile.
Overall Grade for This Show: B
– The Kingfish Arnie Katz
Crossfire4@cox.net
(1/26/08)
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