Hunter — Weapons of Mass Distraction!
April Hunter: Hunting with April
Here’s your chance to catch up with all the adventures April had while PWD was being rebuilt!
This Week…
I’ve been out of the USA working and seeing family for a while, but will be returning home this week. And the first thing I’ll do -after kicking off my shoes - is work on getting everyone’s merchandise orders sent out! I’ll also be getting back to many of your emails as well. Thank you for your patience!
If you’d like to purchase a DVD or autographed photo, I’d be happy to fill your order by mail or paypal.
April Hunter, 994 N. Colony Rd #183, Wallingford, CT 06492.
Or I can send you a payment request thru paypal. comments@aprilhunter.com
NEW 8X10′S: Buy 2 and you’ll get 3rd FREE! http://www.aprilhunter.com/merchandise/8×10s/
NEWEST DVD’s: (All dvd’s include a free signed postcard)
http://www.aprilhunter.com/merchandise/videos/
Last Weekend…
If you came out to PZW in Lethbridge AB Canada (Hi Steve!), thanks! It was a totally fun show and really cool to put some real faces with emails. I managed JD Michaels vs. Brady Roberts in a VERY physical match that was in and out of the ring, included crazy dives, going over tables and a back body drop on the stage. Oh and one spectacularly heinous bruise on the back of my thigh from a leg drop. Long way from my heart, right? I mean, EH?
Speaking of, at the mall up here in Canada, there was a huge ice rink (where our food court would be) …complete with a Zamboni.
I went clubbing (at a regular “western” type bar), and the dance floor had stripper poles at either end. This has more or less confirmed that Canada really is nothing but hockey players and strippers. Just kidding. Sort of. I guess I fit right in? (In the meantime, I’m totally enoying their strong beer - oddly enough, they seem to favor our Coors Light - AND affordable health care. That’s about all that’s affordable here since everything else is jacked up rediculously on taxes. Might hafta don the “will strip for food” sign soon. Except every other girl has beaten me to it.)
Anyway, there are a few new snapshots posted on my myspace (aprilhunterofficial) page & Members area and enjoy the Members only updates!
August… Vacation, Simpsons, No Email.
If I haven’t gotten back to your emails, it’s because I’m traveling… my first vacation in a long time and gotta tell you, I’m feeling pretty thankful (and lucky) right now. I decide to drive across all of America to western Canada last week. While it’s been gorgeous, I narrowly missed both the highway closing wildfire in Montana and the bridge collapse in Minnesota by literally hours. My little car took it all like a champ and conveniently waited until the day after I arrived to break down. Thank f’k! (Engine coil, covered by warranty.) I shudder to think about this happening in the middle of North Dakota, with nothing around for hours.
So, instead of computers and email, I’ve been doing yoga classes and taking pictures.
It’s not all fun and games though… I’m working PZW Wednesday the 8th (managing JD Michaels vs. Brady Roberts) this week in Lethbridge, AB. Hope to see some of you if you’re in the area.
And AprilHunter.com is still adding hot updates weekly.
Ps. Spider Pig, Spider Pig…if you haven’t seen The Simpsons movie yet, its pretty damn funny. Yep, they have $5 Tuesday up here too. 
July… Yup. AGAIN.
HI - My myspace profile was hacked/deleted. (Again.) Luckily, I’d saved the html. 
The new one: myspace.com/AprilHunterOfficial
If you want to help me out:
-post a bulletin,
-add me to your top spot
-or mention this if you have access to a site or are press, it would be greatly appreciated.
I lost a lot of work contacts and friends… and didn’t want others to think I’d removed them or am ignoring them.
I’m in “scramble mode”, trying to pack for a tour, so this was pretty crap timing.
Anyway, thank you!
Cool Emails of the Week…
Message: **”Hi there April. I know you are a very busy woman, but I just wanted to drop by and let you know that I just joined your members area today. I must say that over the past 2 hours that I have been looking at it, it is one the best members areas/adult sites that I have ever seen. You have done such an amazing job on it and I just wanted to throw the compliments your way. I paid for 3 months and I know I am going to love every day of those 3 months and am for sure going to go for 3 more, no doubt about it. So you keep up the great work. Love ya Big Red, take care and be safe and have an awesome weekend.
A Big Fan 4 Life………..J”
**”Hi April. Enjoyed your commentary last week, but it’s MANE of hair, not MAIN…”
AH: Oops…erm…your absolutely right…and English isn’t my first language.
Well, it is, but that’s the only way I can think of to excuse a spelling error that ridiculous. See not only am I learning other languages…I’m still learning my own. …I’m going to go get naked now…at least I can usually get THAT right!
They’re Fake, But I’m Real.
Many countries have versions of Independence Day. For instance, the French have Bastille Day (July 14), Sweden’s is June 6th and Venezuela celebrates theirs on July 5th. They watch parades, eat, drink and blow stuff up.
Canada’s version of July 4th falls on the first and is creatively named Canada Day. In honor of my northern neighbors, I will tell you about the very first Canadian I ever fell in love with.
It was rather one-sided, unrequited kind of love. I didn’t fall for the witty repartee of a Michael Fox, Phil Hartman or Jim Carrey.
Nor did I fall for the endless intelligence of an Alex Trebeck.
No, it was much shallower than that.
But if you saw that mane of gorgeously disheveled hair… a hard body with curves in all the right places… THOSE PERFECT EYEBROWS, you’d surely understand.
That’s right.
It was Pamela Anderson.
As I strolled past the newsstand, her special issue of Playboy grabbed my attention and I found myself unable to resist purchasing a copy. She was pure SEX. I wanted to be pure sex, too! Young and impressionable, I ran to the bathroom with my brown paper bag of contraband to study her poses… her look… her eyebrows. Balancing the issue on the sink, I began to pluck. Hair by hair, I became more arched, defined and glamorous.
Fifteen minutes later, I was Pamified.
I was also quite red and stinging.
But I was no longer thick, furry or girlish. I was diva! I’ve kept them that way my entire life.
That’s what my Pammy gave back to me.
I still love you.
Hope you had a beautiful Canada Day.
Think, Peeps… It Doesn’t Cost Anything. Yet.
Thank you for all the great responses on last week’s newsletter. (I’ve been really crap about returning emails because I’m having another issue with my Outlook Express but I am reading them all.)
Please bear in mind that I’m not advocating illegal drug/steroid use at all. Nor am I saying that steroids are without side effects. I have seen my words twisted around to suit others’ needs and I suppose there’s nothing new about that.
But what I’m saying is, as someone who has:
a.) been working in businesses heavily laced with use & abuse of steroids for over fifteen years,
b.) went to school for sports medicine and
c.) seen quite a few legit “roid rages” in my time,
I simply feel the media is out of control with misinformation and labels.
I still do not feel that steroids alone were not the cause in the Benoit case. I feel they are looking to pin it on anything just to give us all a reason, since we all so desperately want one. We want to know why… and how. And we’re willing to consider anything, no matter how badly and misinformed or ridiculously it’s presented to us.
But let’s be honest here; most wrestling fans and media members wouldn’t know a steroid if it landed on their nose, let alone the uses & side effects of it. The people I talked to couldn’t even tell me the difference between corticosteroids and anabolic steroids. Many couldn’t be bothered to do their homework before taking on interviews. If you can’t do that, you’re certainly not qualified to tell us shit. And this is who we’re trusting to give us accurate information?
If steroids really did kill people and cause these problems so readily, we’d have seen a lot more bodybuilders (and therir families) dead instead of rock stars over the past years. I think we’re accepting the wrong causes.
I could go on and on here, about the other deaths in wrestling, what really causes enlarged hearts, heart disease, blah, blah, blah, but figured I’d keep it to that one topic only for the sake of room and boredom. Besides, nudie models should be brainlessly nude, not debating, right? As one person so nicely said.
If you’d like to comment further, you can add it to the “Roid Rage” blog on myspace.com/therealaprilhunter
Speaking of getting nekkid, Members, be sure to check back every few days for new updates! We’re adding exclusive pictures, video and diaries every week.
Just added:
-a new Opinionated article
-brand new sexy wallpaper download
-and a new exclusive Frisky Fourth of July gallery (17 nude images)
Go Play! http://www.aprilhunter.com/join/index.htm
Enjoy!
- Kisses! xo April
(9/14/07)
You Can Sleep With A Blonde, You Can Sleep With A Brunette.
But You’ll Never Get Any Sleep With A Redhead!
The most beautiful women in the world are featured on AprilHunter.com
Hunter Ha Ha…
More of that fun, Canuck dry humor:
It was mealtime during a flight on Air Canada.
“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the American seated in front.
“What are my choices?” he asked.
“Yes or no,” she replied.
Hunter Ha Ha…
A Ukranian walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Kiev on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Ukranian handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Ukranian produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Ukranian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Ukranian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Ukranian replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”
Hunter Ha Ha…
A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked “Do you have any sales experience?”
The young man answered “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.”
The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.
His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, “OK, so how many sales did you make today?”
The Aussie said “One!”
The manager groaned and continued, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?”
“£124,237.64. pounds”
The manager choked and exclaimed “124,237.64 POUNDS!!
What the hell did you sell him?”
“Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki”.
The manager, incredulous, said “You mean to tell me…. a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4×4?”
“No no no…… he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said………
‘Well, since your weekend’s buggered, you might as well go fishing.’”
Hunter Ha Ha…
All of these are legitimate companies that didn’t spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear and be misread. These are not made up. Check them out yourself.
1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com
2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at http://www.expertsexchange.com/
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at http://www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at http://www.therapistfinder.com
5. There’s the Italian Power Generator company, http://www.powergenitalia.com/
6. And don’t forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for IP computer software, there’s always ! http://www.ipanywhere.com/
8. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site, http://www.speedofart.com
Hunter Ha Ha…
Two guys are sitting in a park watching 4th of July Fireworks. One says to the other, “Do you want to buy my boat? I’ll give you a great deal, because Tracey says I gotta get rid of it.”
“Your brand new boat?? I thought she was cool with you buying it!”
“Yeah, well it turns out when your wife says, ‘do whatever the f*** you want,’ she doesn’t really mean it.”
LINKS
Preview and/or buy my lastest videos & DVD’s! Centerfold nudes, Wrestling, Foxy Fetish Boxing and more!
http://www.aprilhunter.com/cool_stuff/videos.htm
Mail In: 994 N. Colony Rd. PMB#183, Wallingford, CT 06492
*PLEASE INCLUDE $6 FOR SHIPPING. All videos and DVD’s are autographed and come with a free sexy postcard!
***If you see any pictures, etc. anywhere that are online and mine, please let me know. Thanks! comments@aprilhunter.com
Glory Wrestling vote: http://www.glorywrestling.com/Vote.asp#AprilHunter
***Myspace.com/AprilHunterOfficial
Want more than just April? Blondes, Brunettes & Redheads! The most beautiful women in the world are featured on AprilHunter.com!
I have gorgeous hotties and girl-on-girl galleries with Shae Marks, Julie Strain, Lisa Lipps, Tylene “Major Gunns” Buck, Devon Michaels, Tila Nuygen, Carmen Electra, Becky Sunshine, Fawnia Mondey, Pam Anderson, Tara Cabellero, Linda O’Neil, Ebony Eve, Dita Von Tease, Sana Fey, Tammy Lee, Leslie Wells, Mason Marconi, Laura Selway, Torrie Wilson, Natalie Bach, Jasmine St. Claire, Raven Kay Lee, Victoria Zdrok, Sandee Westgate, Leanna Scott, Nikki Nova, Dina Marie Vannoni, Renee Townsend, Candice Michelle, Suzette Lee, Neriah Davis, Tricia Wilds, Robin Denise, Carmen Garcia, Teagens Girls, Alexus Winston, Sable, Jasmin St.Claire, Gwen Rogers, Kathy Johanssen, Kara Slice, Teanna, Gail Kim, Gia LaShay, Doria, Kelli, Tracy Brooks, Erin Ellington, Sunny, Joy Behrman, Jade Chung, Dillon McNeil, Fawnia Mondey, Chloe Jones, Christie Ricci, Talia Madison, Kim Kanner, Sawna & ! ! Dee, Paige Summers, Alere, Candace Michelle, Carmella DeCesare, Paris Hilton, Jordan/Katie Price, Linda Tran, Christy Hemme, Arielle Lee, Rebecca DiPietro, Anna Nicole Smith, Busty Lana, Cheate Tenille, Shelly Martinez, Aimee Sweet, Lois Laney, Amanda & Chelsea, Ashley Massaro, Traci Bingham, Lucy Lee, Dani Woodard, Zabrina, Tiana Ringer, Aria Giovanni, Jessica Devon, Mima Shimoda, Tera & Nikki, Gabrielle Reece, Angel, Francine Dee, Tamara Whitmer, Mickie James, Victoria Silvstedt, Jenna Jameson… Wrestling Divas, Adult Stars, Playmates & Centerfolds, Fitness Models & many more! http://www.aprilhunter.com/ccbill/index.htm
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